Reincarnated Hearts 1: MY 1905 SENIORITA

Seniorita 29

Seniorita 29

Selina:

Selina, ito na ang huli kong gabi sa katawan mo..

Selina..

Selina, makinig ka—maiiwasan mo ang kamatayan.. Ang pag-ibig ni Lukas ang sasagip sa buhay mo!

Selina..

"Ahh!" My heart was beating fast—her voice in my dream. Those words were so clear that still echoed inside my brain right now. Natutop ko ang sarili kong noo—oh damn?

Until I realized the man beside me, sleeping. Oh Jesus.. At naalala ko ang mga nangyari kagabi—I and Lutther was..f***ing eachother!

Damn.

Of course, I remembered!

At kinain ako ngayon ng kahihiyan dahil sa pagpayag kong mangyari ang gusto ng isipan ko kagabi.

Oh jeez! My virginity just lost..

Naligo ako and thought about of having a serious conversation of what just had happened to us last night—coz that was not part of our plan, right?

And bet he didn't use any protection!

Pero nang lumabas na ako ng banyo ay wala na ito sa sarili kong kwarto. See? Biglang kumirot ang puso ko of something just pinched me.

If he was so serious, he would wait up and initiate a goddamn talk right now—but you see? It was just the vodka-f***ing-spirit! Just it..

***

I let myself buried at the company mendling things dahil nagsibalikan ang mga investors ng kompanya just after I and Lutther got married. Bumangon ang kompanya dahil sa pangalang nakakabit sa pangalan ko.

That's something to celebrate.

But the fact that I alone can manage it kahit wala siya? I know I can!

It has been a week since that night happened and we never talked about it—even a word dahil kapag na-uuwi ako ay tulog na siya o ako naman ang tulog na 'pag uwi niya. I knew he was also busy at his company dahil sa mga tambak na trabahong naiwan since our wedding.

Pero wala man lang talaga siyang balak na pag-usapan ang nangyari sa'min?

Or was it nothing to him kaya walang dapat pag-usapan?

Pagdating ko sa bahay ay nakaparada na ang sasakyan niya sa garahe namin. It was still nine in the evening at kumain na rin ako ng dinner sa labas as I had a business talk with another investor.

"Ay, maam, m-magandang gabi po." Binati rin ako ng katulong namin na si Marta. We only have two maids here dahil hindi naman parating may tao rito—bahagya itong nagulat sa presenya ko.

"Magandang gabi din, Marta." Tugon ko. Saka ako umakyat na sa taas at tinungo ang kwarto ko na katabi lang ng kwarto ni Lutther. When I heard voices talking inside his own room kaya nahinto ako sa paghakbang.

"Babe, ayoko sa hotel—dito ako matutulog kasama mo.. Please.." Aurora?

Nag-init 'agad ang tenga ko. Ba't nandito siya sa bahay namin? Lutther and I had an agreement to respect the house! Kung hindi niya ako kayang i-respeto maski ang bahay nalang!

Nasasaktan ako.

Bumalik ang mga paa ko pababa—all were heavy steps as I descend down the stairs. Naroroon pa rin ang katulong nasi Marta sa salas and was cleaning. She stood up nang papadaan ako.

"M-Maam, sasabihin ko po ba kay sir na umalis ka, kung itanong man niya po?" Matalim ang mga tingin ko ngayon but that surely not to aim her but to that bastard.

"Sabihin mo sa kaniya, he may go to hell with Aurora. Okay?" I blurted out saka tuloyang lumabas ng bahay. Sobrang bigat ng dibdib ko—after busy days of work? After days of waiting if he had something to say about that f***ing night?

And now this?

He brought Aurora in our own house when he was the one who made this ridiculous agreement!?

Nasasaktan ako.

I drove my car and I really didn't know where to go. F***ing tears started to cloud my eyes habang palabas na ako ng gate. Hindi ko kayang matulog sa bahay knowing he brought Aurora there! Pero kung pupuntahan ko din si papa Fred—he'd be worried at ayokong mag-alala siya..

Much I didn't want to entertain questions!

I just drove.

Fast!

Well, hell? Siya lang ba ang marunong? He just couldn't ruin everything about me! Sex lamang naman kasi yun! Nothing to talk about, right?

The f**k was I crying now?

Kasi, unknowingly, I realized I could love!

That I was capable of loving somebody!

At kay Lutther pa talaga when all of his life—it was all about Aurora!

"Sinaya, kasalanan mo 'to!" Sigaw ko. Nothing to be blamed—that half persona of me that left me nang ganun-ganun nalang. Basta nalang itong nawala sa'kin—her voice just disappeared when this time, I needed to hear her!

I pulled the car in the other side of the road. Huminto ako kasi hindi ko na makita ang daan dahil sa pesteng mga luha ko ngayon.

"Sinaya! Kausapin mo ako ngayon! Anong gagawin ko? What the hell am I supposed to do now, ha!?" Malakas kong pinagbabayo ang manubela ng sasakyan ko. I closed my eyes and wished to hear her voice pero para lang akong baliw—napalakas ang hikbi ko.

Sh*t!

Hindi naman ako ganito..

"Sinaya, paano na 'to? Tell me now, what to do! Kasi hindi ako ikaw—na kayang ipaglaban ang minamahal—the f**k, I love Lutther pero hindi ako tanga, Sinaya. He loves Aurora! Naiintindihan mo ba yun, ha? Sinaya, talk to me!" I sobbed hard—hindi ko na kayang pigilang ang sarili ko na hind imaging emosyonal. At least, nobody could see me now breaking down into tiny pieces. Even my father had never seen me like this..

My phone rang.

It was him calling. I wiped my tears and cleared my throat. Yes, I'd accept his call. I slided it to answer him.

"Selina? Are you still in the company?" My silent tears ran down on my cheeks. It was not the question I wished him to asked after days of what happened to us. Yun lang ang itatanong niya sa'kin?

Bakit?

Alam ko naman, e..

Para hindi ko sila maabutan ni Aurora sa bahay? Well, too f***ing late! Gusto siyang pagmumurahin ngayon sa totoo lang pero hindi—he'll never see my emotions. Not anymore..

"Yes, I am. I am busy, Lutther. Goodbye." Then I ended his call. Tumawag ito ulit pero hindi ko na sinagot. I started driving again when I was blinded by the truck's speedy light and huli na nang bumangga ang sasakyang ko sa truck.