What I Need

24: Deeper - the only thing getting deeper is the pain in my chest

Lisa leans onto the door frame as she awaits her girlfriend's arrival. Seulgi was quite serious about having a talk, and despite all Lisa couldn't care less.

Surely, there was something wrong with her.

Lisa bites her lip. Seulgi did mean something to her, but she couldn't shake off the feeling that it wasn't anything genuine. There was always something empty. Lisa shoves her hands into her pockets, "Sure is fucking cold." She mutters under her breath.

Maybe, it was the fact that Seulgi made her feel safe. She taps her foot impatiently. Safety, stability--it's an illusion. It's a falsehood. Something that you're feeding - like an obsession, and it's either you're ignorant to the scratches across your face or you're just addicted

Lisa swallows the feeling in her throat. "A falsehood, huh." She says quietly. You're simply clinging to a sinking raft instead of learning to swim. Lisa looks at the ceiling.

Maybe there was no need for the safe route in the first place. Lisa wanted what she wanted, but it wasn't like she had the courage to get it. She swallows. If she weren't anything but afraid she'd have the people she wanted by her side by now.

At this point, it was a question of whether she was willing to forego the safe route of flowers and daisies before it turns into one of skin-shredding thorns.

Or. Lisa looks back down with a sigh hanging at her lips. Dive face-first into a tornado and hope she gets to the eye.

Was it better to have stability despite knowing its end? Or take the pain with everything you've got?

She scoffs, was there any point at all in this relationship if she could doubt it with logic so easily?

"Hey,"

Lisa jumps at the voice. "Oh," She mutters with a ghost of a smile. "Hey." She replies back at the sight of her girlfriend.

The girl is looking bright, her smile is wide. Lisa purses her lips, attempting to give her back the same energy. "How wer classes?" She strikes up a conversation.

"They were alright," Seulgi says shortly. Lisa's eyebrows jump. Their conversation didn't flow as smoothly as usual. In fact, this was just odd.

"I see." Lisa mutters and Seulgi sighs. Lisa watches her expression as kids walk out of the classroom and around the hallways. "You look like you need to speak." Lisa says and Seulgi holds her breath.

"Something like that." She says vaguely.

Lisa grabs her hand. "What are you doing?" Seulgi squeaks as she begins pulling her down the halls. "You said you needed to talk. So, I'm bringing you somewhere where you can be comfy." Lisa mutters.

Seulgi's eyes lay on their hands held together and she frowns. No sparks. No nervousness. No emotions.

Just the ideal safety and stability.

She bites her lip. She looked up to Lisa. That's what it was. But did she really like her?

"C'mon." Lisa says as she smiles warmly. Seulgi nods as they climb up a wall towards the end of the staircase.

This was the optimal spot for students to talk or skip class. Selective few knew the area, and it was never crowded.

Kind of like a secret area that only old students knew.

They dust off their skirts as Seulgi slowly moves towards the end of the carpeted area. Lisa purses her lips.

The place was maintained by various clube and even some members of the student council.