What I Need

25: You are now on board the emotional bomb express

"What the hell is going on?" Chaeyoung takes a sharp breath in. Lisa yawns. "My bad," She mutters.

"What?" Chaeyoung furrows her eyebrows. Lisa grins. "Don't worry about it."

"Why are you crying?"

"I was not," She denies.

Chaeyoung doesn't buy her bullshit. She sighs and Lisa clicks her tongue. "What are you so upset about?" Chaeyoung sits over to where Lisa is.

They had alot of interactions today.

Chaeyoung purses her lips. After this she was going to sleep for a hundred years.

"Well, I mean isn't it kind of obvious?"

Chaeyoung shakes her head, "Not at all." She crosses her arms. "To be honest, I don't even know why you're still in school right now? Most students should be gone. If you get caught without a reason you're going to the principal's office." She teases and Lisa laughs.

"Is getting my heart broken a valid reason?"

Chaeyoung's lips part. Her expression falls. She doesn't know what to say. "You don't have to be that shocked, you know?"

Chaeyoung wasn't shocked. She was upset.

"Yeah," She mutters. "My bad." Chaeyoung slowly gets up and opens her locker. The silence makes Lisa uneasy.

"Chae," Lisa says whilst watching her back. The girl was stuffing things into her bag and fixing up her locker.

"What?" She has coldness in her voice. Lisa bites her lip. She can't stop shaking. "I'm sorry." She says.

Chaeyoung stops grabbing her things. "What?" She says breathlessly.

"I said I'm sorry."

Chaeyoung gets annoyed. "For what now?" She rolls her eyes. Lisa clenches her fist. "For leaving you in the dark."

Chaeyoung grabs her duffel bag and slams her locker shut. "Now," She laughs bitterly. "Now, you're sorry?" Her eyes squint.

"Now that you have no one else to comfort you." She says feeling defeated. "You apologize? When you were so damn scared to even talk to me, when you--" Chaeyoung takes a sharp breath in.

"You never think about how what you say would make me feel." Her voice is trembling.

Lisa watches with dryness in her throat.

"You ignored my feelings for so long. For so fucking long! You date the girl, the one girl I felt so damn uneasy about. The girl you said would not be a fucking problem!" Chaeyoung pinches the bridge of her nose.

"And at first I didn't even know why." She wants to cry. "I didn't know whether you were dating her to make me feel bad or hurt me or what. But then you told me it was real, and then I figured out that it really wasn't. That even you knew, some part of you was just using her." Chaeyoung speaks with forced calmness.

"And it sucked when I was told that she was just using you too. But you know what sucked the most? The fact that throughout all this, I never got a say in what would happen to us because whether you fucking noticed or not you come to me and I always accept you. Do you realize that? And the one time, god forbid, the one time I told you that I was scared of the one person I had every right to be scared of - you rejected me."

Lisa stands. "Are you going to listen to what I have to say?"

"You don't get to act like the bigger person now." Chaeyoung grits her teeth. "And I'll admit I was an asshole too. But at least I had the decency to take time out of my day to think about your feelings. For fuck sakes, I thought about your feelings more than mine. And it made me anxious. So, I got mad. You couldn't take that either."