•ur no dr phil but i still love u• denki kaminari x reader crack/textfic

15- if this bitch TRIES istg

y/n pov
i landed not so gracefully, definitely rolling my ankle or something.
i sped over to the landslide zone where denki was. he was in his dumbass mode (ofc). momo and kyouka were trying to fight off some villains. i dropped behind a mountain attempting a sneak attack. one of yaomomos staffs were lying broken on the ground so i grabbed it and went behind a villain. i wound my arm back and slammed it against the back of his knee. he stumbled over and broke his fall with his hands. the staff made contact with his head, and he was (in the words of drake) out like a light. i ran around the corner and slid behind the villain holding denki. i hit him in the junction of his shoulder and neck. he wasn't out, but his grip weakened enough for me to grab his arm and pull it behind him. i kicked his knees in and he buckled over. the heel of my foot pressed into his back and i pushed him down while pulling his arm forward. a sickening crack was heard, but not much after that. oh he passed out from the pain. i ran over to denki.

"...whee..." i stared blankly at him.

"of. fucking. course. of course you can't fight. dumbass." i smiled after the dumbass part in case he remembered any of this. i rested my arms under his and picked him up. his legs wrapped around mine as he made a thumbs up. maybe he wasn't so dumb after all. i'm joking. obviously he stupid. i made a beeline for the balcony where some other students were staying and helping classmates and apparently aizawa-sensei, too. i dropped kaminari off and briefly explained the situation to them. you hopped off and used a minor oxygen blast to soften my landing. i hopped and sprinted over to hand boi.

"hey, man. nice to meet you and shit, but could you like, iono. not? like your here to kill all might, right?" i paused to gauge a reaction, and found nothing but some cheap words and rants. "ok cool. everything of what you just said went right over my head. i have but a single question for you, my dude. do i fucking look like all might? i think the fuck not, so back your ass up, and go to back to your purple ass boyfriend. 'kay?" welp. now i've really done it. i didn't need to see his face to sense he was angry. midoriya and a couple other students looked at me like i was crazy, but i put up a confident facade regardless.

"...maybe all might will come play if a kill a few kids..." he peered at me through his hand shit. "nomu..." all of a sudden the bird looking ass thing came running towards me with an outstretched hand. i swiftly hopped to the side before he made contact.

"miss me with that shit! hah, nice try tho man. i give it two stars." hand ass man growled in the background. the nomu lunges at me again, this time striking. i heard a breaking tenor voice from the sidelines.

"l/n!!!" midoriya jumped in and tried to beat the shit outta the nomu. his arm didn't break for once, but the nomu seemed unaffected.

"c'mon, man!" i shout at the nomu. "can't you just fucki-" my chest felt like it was tightening and my breaths were getting raspy. i coughed up blood. "fucking die?! or sorry wait- we're heroes... i dunno, go to sleep for a while but not eternity?" nomu came and pounced on me. i was pinned to the ground and he was about to strike. "comatose! that's the word i was looking for! coma..." people around me started screaming my name and trying to attack the nomu. my arm squeezed into one of the pockets on my costume and grabbed a box of matches. why do i have a box of matches, you may ask? simple. propane. i struck a match and shot propane at the nomu while he was mildly distracted with other students. "GET BACK!!!" i yell as i hop backwards. "burnt cells can't regenerate at the same pace, so it's the easiest way to weaken the nomu!" he was howling in pain, but was still standing nonetheless. some other students attacked but the nomu landed a solid strike on me. all i could do was shakily raise my arm and let out a tiny puff of nitrous oxide (it can knock things out) before i blacked out.

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