HIM OR ME ✓

Chapter 13

~~~~There are moments, when you're getting to know someone, when you realize something deep and buried in you is deep and buried in them too. It feels like meeting a stranger you've known your whole life- Leah Raeder~~~~~~~

Y/N's POV:

I stared at the view underneath his room in this tall apartment, examining the long traffic and busy people. This place is somehow warm and unique. Its not big nor small. Its comfortable for someone to live in. And since the Christmas is approaching, he didn't fail to decorate it well. Very different from my penthouse and what I had designed. 

"Nice apartment," I told him with my back facing him.

"I know, I like this place too. I hang out with my hyungs here." He gave me his boxy smile while handing me a cup of hot chocolate that he had made.

"How many girls have you bring here?" I asked him bluntly, surprised by my own confidence.

"Uncountable," he smirked proudly as he sat on his green and red furry couch. His back gently leaning on the back of the cushion while his face looked at the window in front of us.

I took a sip of the hot chocolate he gave me and eased my mind with it. I was soaking wet when I came into the apartment, but now his scent is all over me. Looking at my reflection in the tall mirror, it doesn't look good. His baggy white T-shirt covers most of me, while his sweat pants baggily falls underneath. 

"Are my clothes really drying off?" I asked him, not wanting to wear his clothes fill with chocolate and rose scent. Why does he have to smell good?

"Don't worry about it, you look perfectly fine with my clothes," he told me with his eyes close, living in the moment with a smile. He patted the couch beside him for me to take a seat.

"So you don't live here?" I asked him, trying to break the awkward silence between us.

"Look at you asking me questions...wanting to know more about me," he chuckled as he positioned himself to face me. He's always cocky and full of confidence. Does this guy ever get rejected by a girl? Girls should reject him to drag down his high ego. He's so full of himself.

 Knowing that it was my mistake to follow him to his apartment from the start, I start to ignore him. I glance back at the window that is covered with raindrops. I look at the two big raindrops racing to the edge of the window and started to disperse. 

"I don't live here sweetheart, this is the place where I hang out with people. My home is quite far from here, and I don't normally take people there." He replied back after a moment of silence. He must have realized the silent treatment that I started to give.

"Why not?" I asked him another question, regretting immediately after seeing him smirk. He must be soaring on the rainbows, thinking that I'm so interested in him.

"Memories of my parents are in that house, especially my dad's. I want everything to be the way they are. So I don't take people there."

When he mentioned his father, I wanted to asked him what happened. But I try not to. It was hard for me to tell him about my father, so the same thing will happen to him too.

"No more questions? Anything you want to know?" He asked me with a soft chuckle. 

"No, but I do want you to stop seeing my father." I think about my ironic situation;  it's always the parents who told guys to stop seeing their daughter. But now, I'm telling him to stop seeing my father. 

"Look Y/N. I'm taking care of him as my own father. You won't know what it feels like to lose a father, but I do." I stare at him in disbelief but stopped when I see his eyes. He's being honest and genuine. He must have regret and guilt to lose his father. What happened? But that doesn't stop the slight anger building up inside when he said 'I don't know how it feels like'.

 "You're right, I don't know what it feels like to lose a father because I don't have one from the start." I nonchalantly told him. A part of me was scared that I might hurt his feelings. But a huge part of me hated the fact that he doesn't think I understand. 

"I-I didn't mean it that way. Its just...it was hard for me to think about those days where it was just me and my dad. Those days where he didn't have any brain tumor, anything at all. Where he was smiling at me as he took me to fishing. It was those days where I was beside him, holding his hands," he gave me a painful smile as he started to fiddle with the hem of his shirt.

I was slightly surprised, it was easier for him to open up to me than it is for me. I hate talking about my life to others. Their pitiful eyes and smile did not comfort me at all. Instead, it makes me feel weak.

"Taehyung," I called him taking out the formal name.

He looked at me with his teary eyes. "My mom was stressed and failed to look after me. She divorced my father because he wasn't supporting our family well. As soon as my dad died, I was forced to live with her in England. She lives there to build her own industry, her own fashion enterprise with whatever she had learned. She told me that she must find money for us to survive. My father was a photographer. He loved photography and thats how he met my mother. And thats how they divorced. So when he died, I have no choice but to move."

I took his hands without hesitation as I understand how hard it was for a child to grow up without his/her mother. It was hard when my mother ran away. And the same goes for him. We need parents to show us the way, to prepare us for the world, but neither of our parents are there for us.

"After my mother built her enterprise, she made me the CEO. I never wanted to be the CEO of her fashion industry. I wanted to do something that I really love. But she left me with no choice. She was tired and wanted the best for me. So with what she had built, I improved on it. I made it to the top, but she never realize what I truly want to do." 

I listened to him, without asking him any questions or even saying a word. The man in front of me does not love his job as much as I do with mine. And he was broken because of his parents.

"I wanted to be a photographer like my father. I wanted myself to be someone like him, the person I admired the most. So I regret those days where I don't spend time with him when I'm living with my mother. I only get to spend two weeks with him before he died. Thats why I spend time with your father Y/N. I didn't know what he did to you. I thought he was a man that got abandoned by his daughter. But I was wrong. And I am so sorry. But Y/N I don't want you to regret just like I am now. So please spend some time with him." 

"I-I don't know...he brings pain to me. He tortured me, he was a drunk man. And I don't think I can expect anything from him." I told him, not realizing that I was crying too. How weak of me. I always think crying is weak as it shows the vulnerable side of you. 

"I agree with your brother, you really are a strong person. And I believe you are capable of forgiving your father. Just try it for him. Give him another chance," he said as he wiped my tears and gave me a warm smile. 

The feeling I feel inside is complicated as I started blaming on the hot chocolate he made. For the first time in years, I feel warm. 

TO BE CONTINUE....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!