Red Heart (Book #2)

Chapter Twenty Four

Kai's POV

Kyung Mi and I looked around trying to find the source of the sound, but it had grown silent. My heart rate slowed down but still my heart was racing in fear. BANG. The sound made me jump my hands shaking. "Hey, it's okay Kai it was just fireworks". Kyung Mi reassured me as she grabbed onto my hand. "I-I thought it was. . . gunshots". I wheezed through my panic. It brought back flashbacks to when I was shot a month ago. I looked up at Kyung Mi fear in my eyes. "Come on we should be getting back home". Kyung Mi extended her hand out giving me a reassuring smile. I took her hand mine shaking considerably.

"Hey, it's okay. I won't let anything happen to you". Kyung Mi said as she squeezed my hand. While I knew she was trying to reassure me, I still shook with fear. I knew I was traumatized from what happened a month ago, but it's something I may never over come. "I'm sorry I freaked out I thought it was gunshots". I apologized feeling bad that I ruined our date. It was our first outing since the accident and me being scared felt like it ruined the moment.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I completely understand why you would freak out. Just about anyone in their mind would". Kyung Mi squeezed my hand as we continued to walk.

Kyung Mi and I both said our goodbyes as we made it to the apartment. It was nice hanging out with her for a change besides it was someone else to talk to. Ever since I was told that I couldn't dance for a while I was stuck talking to my brothers who were always fretting over me. To be honest I didn't want to be a burden to them anymore. They had their own lives and for me they had to put it on hold. More than anything I just wanted to go to dance school and write my heart out. But I didn't have energy to do those things except lie in bed, which becomes boring. And sitting around was nothing like me.

I went into the kitchen grabbed a bottle of water before heading to my room, which was occupied with Chanyeol. He was sitting at the desk reading my journals. Upon seeing me he froze. "Kai, it's not what you think, okay". Chanyeol said closing the said journal. "It clearly looks like you were reading my journals. The ones that are for myself only. I don't go snooping through your things". I took the journals setting them on my bed. Anger coursed through me as I could see that he was lying. "You know those journals are personal Chanyeol. You of all people should no better than to read these. These books are where I write my feelings and thoughts down on paper. Ones that are meant for me only". Tears burned my eyes as I felt that my thoughts and feelings weren't safe anymore.

"Kai, I only came in here to get a piece of paper from you, but I accidentally knocked your journals over. A few pages were open so I only read a few lines. I didn't read every page just little that was displayed. I know it was wrong of me that I read your personal things. But what you wrote concerns me that you need to see a therapist".  Chanyeol said his voice mixed with concern.

I shook my head tears mixing with the anger I felt. "I don't need to see a shrink. That's why I write constantly in order to get what I need to out. All those thoughts are what I felt over the past years. It isn't something for anyone to read but myself. I may be that broken person that I have been for years, but I'm still human. Right now I want to be alone". I looked up at Chanyeol as hurt crossed his features. Why was he hurting? I'm the one who's privacy was broken.

"I'm sorry Kai, it's my job as your brother to worry about you. I wasn't trying to break your trust. But I want you to know that I'm always here if or when you need to talk. Just remember who person was that consoled you at night. Again I'm sorry". I watched as Chanyeol walked out of the room before closing the door.

Part of me didn't want to admit that he was right. I should see a therapist, but I didn't want a stranger knowing my business when it can put them at risk. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to someone else. That's why I had always written down my feelings and thoughts on paper to relieve stress and anxiety that I bottled up. It was my escape from everything that had ever happened to me. But missing pieces of myself will forever remain as the broken boy that will never be the same again.

I picked up my journal and started writing.

As I look at myself
Through the mirror
I see someone staring
Back at me but it's
Someone else that
Was once the
Shell of me.
It's shallow eyes
Look at me and
All I see is that
Little boy covered
In bruises as it
Painted his skin
Different colors
Like an artist
Painting a canvas
But the little broken
Boy was me
Staring back at
Me through the
Reflection in
The mirror...

That concludes the end of chapter twenty four of Red Heart. What was your favorite part? I want to thank everyone for reading this book and supporting it. It truly means a lot. I can't thank you enough. Don't forget to vote and comment.

Don't forget to stay awesome and until next time ✌️