Red Heart (Book #2)

Chapter Thirty Three

Kai's POV

When I came to I could hear voices and the sound of the heart machine going off that was almost too loud. I looked beside me to see my friends sleeping on the foldout couch. As I looked out the window it was nightfall but I wasn't sure how many days went by. Heck I wasn't even sure what day it was. All I can remember is what happened that night my heart rate picked up in fear. Chanyeol and Kyung Mi, are they okay? I wondered as I tried sitting up. I winced in pain as I seen my leg wrapped in a hard cast. How did that happen?

I looked up when I seen one of my friends shift on the couch before our eyes met in the darkness. "Hey, you're finally awake". Chen said rubbing his eyes sitting up. "How is Kyung Mi and Chanyeol are they okay?" I asked ignoring the injuries I had. Chen suddenly went silent his eyes averting away from mine.

"Kyung Mi is doing better Jae is with her as we speak. She should be released in a day or two". Chen said as he glanced my way. But what about Chanyeol? Why wasn't he telling me about Chanyeol. "You never answered me about Chanyeol. Is he okay?" I asked feeling worried as to why he won't tell me. I saw something cross across his face to which I couldn't place.

I was about to ask again but the door suddenly burst open. I didn't bother looking at who the person was since it was probably another doctor. "I'm so sorry Kai that we arrived late last night. We tried our best to rescue you all. We killed Mr. So so you no longer have to worry about him ever again. I also apologize that this is the first time I'm visiting you". Mrs. Park spoke as she stood by my bed since all the seats were taken. Something in her expression worried me. Something that I could tell that something wasn't right. I glanced between the two sensing something was terribly wrong l I could feel it churning inside me.

"Why isn't anyone telling me about how Chanyeol is? Ever since I woke up no one will tell me anything". I dared to ask genuinely worried of my brothers wellbeing. Mrs. Park shifted uncomfortably in her spot tears shielding her eyes. Suddenly I could feel my heart drop to my stomach my blood running cold. I shook my head not wanting to believe it. "No, he. . . he can't be g-gone. He c-can't. I'm so sorry Mrs. Park". I cried feeling her wrap her arms around me.

"It wasn't your fault Kai. Your parents chose us including Chanyeol to be your protectors. He was doing his job protecting his brother. It's me who failed to protect my son better. But by no means is this your fault. Chanyeol wouldn't want you to blame yourself. At least I can say I took the mans life that took my sons. My job from here on out is completed as you're safe. Get some rest you're being released tomorrow. The plan is that you'll go back to the apartment and one of your friends will look after you". Mrs. Park said before she walked out of the room.

Everything in that moment just stopped. I couldn't believe that my brother is gone. He's never coming back to ever be seen or heard from again and it's my fault. "I'm sorry guys that Chanyeol died because of me.  I don't blame you for hating me. Because I hate myself too". I didn't bother with wiping the tears away I just let them fall.

"We don't hate you Kai, don't ever think that. Chanyeol was doing what all brothers would do protecting their brother. It was never your fault. The only person who should be to blame would be Mr. So. But he's gone now. We don't hate you Kai. We all would have done what Chanyeol did. Like we say we are one". D.O said as everyone agreed, but I couldn't bring myself to agree. Chanyeol was dead because of me. Because of this life I lead while I'll forever blame myself.

. . .

The next day I went to see Kyung Mi using my crutches to get there with Lay strolling beside me. I was just about to be released from the hospital but before I left I wanted to see Kyung Mi. Lay handed me the gift bag as I grabbed a hold of it. "I'll just be outside. Take your time". Lay said as he sat down on the nearby bench. I nodded willing myself to move despite I was nervous.

When I entered the room Kyung Mi was sound asleep, which I had to admit she was even prettier when asleep but still cute all the same. I set down the gift bag on her table sitting in the empty chair beside her. Upon hearing me set down the crutches Kyung Mi woke up.

"I'm sorry to have woken you up. I was just dropping off this gift bag I got for you". I whispered. A smile came to her lips as she sat up. "I'm so sorry Kai, I set all of you guys in that trap. I'm glad you made it out of this alive. It's my fault that you got hurt. Where are the rest of your friends?" Kyung Mi asked my heart feeling numb again. I looked down not knowing how else to explain everything. Tears burned my eyes as I looked up.

"You're not to blame for this Kyung Mi. If it's anyone to blame it should be me. I dragged all of you into my messed up world including you. No one could have known what was going to happen. You were in danger and of course we were going to rescue you. You were my number one priority,I had to get you out and safe. But I couldn't protect everyone". I trailed off unable to finish what I had wanted to say.

Kyung Mi looked at me worriedly grabbing onto my hand. "Who couldn't you protect?" She asked barely heard over my crying. I looked up at her confused. Hadn't anyone told her? "N-No one told you?" I asked through my tears. She wiped my tears away her hand staying on my cheek. Kyung Mi shook her head, my heart breaking at the thought of telling her.

I took an unsteady breath and looked at our conjoined hands. "The person I couldn't protect was C-Chanyeol. No matter how many times I tried getting to him I. . . I was paralyzed by fear and injuries. I yelled for him to get up b-but he never did. Once that trigger was pulled I was too late to save my brother. He's gone because of me Kyung Mi. I'll never see him again or hear from him. Chanyeol was the only family I had left". I cried into her hand as I let all my tears and hatred leave myself. I could feel Kyung Mi's hand running through my hair but I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. The tears I've held on for so many years.

"Let it all out. No one will judge you. I know I won't. You have me as your family now including your friends. You're not going through this alone". I faintly heard over my cries.

. . .

When I got home I immediately crashed onto my bed unable to cry has I had no more tears to shed. Everything that happened the other day was my fault. Chanyeol's death was my fault. If I took the bullet for him, he would still be here writing music of playing his guitar. But he's gone to never walk in this room ever again. We were supposed to go on a trip this summer just the nine of us. But now it won't ever be the same. I rolled over onto the other pillow suddenly hearing something crinkle underneath the pillow. Confused I lifted the pillow up to find an envelope under it. As I looked at the hand writing I knew who the writing belonged to. I opened the letter my eyes scanning his block handwriting.

To my brother Kai,

By the time you read this I'll be gone. I've written this a bunch of times just to get it right. But each time gets harder. I got the news today that my heart is failing at a much faster pace and that my days are numbered. I don't know if you noticed the symptoms or not, but I tried hiding it the best I could. I don't want to die, Kai I'm too young, but I have to face the music eventually. I don't want you to blame yourself for whatever will happen eventually. I want you to live a happy life Kai. Do me a favor watch over our friends they'll need you after I'm gone. I want to thank you for having a brother like you that my life was fulfilled with such joy and adventure. And it was all because of you. I couldn't have asked for a better brother. I want you to move on with your life and hopefully find peace in your heart so the world will seem less cruel. Again thank you Kai for everything you have done for me as well as protecting me. At the back of this letter theirs a picture I wanted you to have. It's something to remember me by as years pass. Remember I'm not so far away. Don't think of this as a goodbye, think of it as a see you later.

Sincerely, your brother Chanyeol ❤️

I looked at the back of the letter to find a picture of me and Chanyeol when we were little swinging on the swings. I took it off the paper a faint smile coming to my lips at the memory. It was the first time Chanyeol and I went to the park together where we met Chen and Suho.

That concludes the end of chapter thirty three of Red Heart. What was your favorite part? I want to thank everyone for reading and supporting this book it truly means a lot. Don't forget to vote and comment.

Don't forget to stay awesome and until next time ✌️