Belonging. Star Wars story. Episode 10 X. Sequal to TROS.

1. Darkness

There was utter and complete darkness.
Every breath she took and every move she made was fluid and well know. The reason of this must be because she'd already searched countless caves on Mustafar so far but with no results. The black giant mineral could not be found. She was tired and started to feel huge wave of hopelessness.

"No, this is not happening, I'm not gonna give up", Rey unclipped the copper mask and let out the breath, "If I do, it would have been for nothing".

The mask felt like a prison for her mind. It was like cage of darkness that had fallen upon her. Rey breathed in the air of the cave that was filled with sulphur and put the mask back on. She touched the wall again and, with the rough surface under her fingers, moved on.

"Nothing could have prepaired me for the darkness of these caves, not the scavanging, not the Jedi training, not fights with resistance in battles with real casulties. This darkness, this constant uncertainity.. it's slowly driving me crazy.."

There were many spiders around, but most of them got out of the way before Rey took next turn in the cave.  But in the complete darkness Rey couldn't see them anyway.

The planets lava fields and variety of minerals in these caves jammed all the electric devices, the glowstick packs ended in the first two caves long time ago, there were no other living creatures, who would come in these caves, so Rey had no light at all. For the longest time she has lived in constant night for days, surfacing each week or so to gather supplies to crawl back in again.

These days Rey was left only with herself and nothing else, there were the toughts, the memories and the ... acceptance never came. She could not accept the feeling of utter loneliness, that she felt even before she came to the caves.. it didn't feel like fear, it felt like.. there was part of her that has to be found again.

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Weeks after the battle on Exegol Rey constructed her new saber. She found her chrystal, (HER chrystal!) in the cave on Dagobah- it was hell of a adventure itself but it was so worth it, because Rey came out with very beautiful little things- two camonah chrystals. These crystals where something that she studied in Jedi texts and couldn't let go the nagging feeling in her mind that it was hers, it called to her, even by knowing so little about them.

One of the crystals was a little bit smoother and brighter of gold, it reflected light. The other one was dark gold, bigger and rougher around the edges. She felt like holding pieces of night and day in her hands. Taking each one in the palm of her hand she meditated for some time and found utter and complete balance. So she chose the smaller one and teared down her staff, making saber that was only hers- it felt good in her hand, no other saber has ever felt that way. It felt like part of herself. When she turned it on for the first time, she was blinded by the peacefulness and strength it emitted. She felt like she had found her family member. And with that came understanding of Lukes lessons for taking care of her saber.

"A Jedi's weapon deserves more respect"- he had told her before the battle on Exegol.

Of course for some time now she new that the lightsaber was the formal weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster and more skill than simple sight was required for its use. Her saber was elegant weapon and it was a symbol as well- for she has grown so much in Force, trained to use knowledge only for power in defense, never attack. She had come long way from little scavenger to Jedi Knight and the part of her staff symbolised that past that moulded her into a girl she was now. The crystal was different like the rest of sabers she knew existed- it was more like.. there was nothing to compare to it. The gold light shined strongly and peacefully. The lightsaber was only hers.

Second camonah crystal was stored in safe satchet that Rey tied to her belt. She felt more complete with new lightsaber and crystal with her at all times. Only when leaving for the journey to the Mustafar she had to leave the crystal and saber behind- she gave them to Finn for safekeeping.
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Air around shifted a little bit, but the young Jedi Knight didn't feel it. She just continued walking by guidance of rocky surface under her fingertips, nothing else could lead her to the goal: the black mineral she was looking for.

Nothing was around her anymore, since she shut herself off the Force.