Loretta had no idea of the life she was about to face in the coming years ahead. She was very comfortable with her grandmother (Bigmama, and PawPaw) her grandfather. Loretta's father worked all day and was hardly ever around. She had two sisters and three brothers to be content with. During the fifties life was pretty hard, you work you eat, kids was working most of the time which helped keep them out of trouble. All Loretta remembered was that she thought bigmama was her mother. She was fine with that.
One day this woman came when she was about two years old. She was told by her brother that this woman was her mother. Loretta was afraid of this woman because she never saw her before, she just stood there clinging on to her grandmother peeping around at her from behind bigmama's chair, while this woman kept saying," come her". Bigmama said," Willie she don't know you, so she is not going to come", Willie was angry because she felt her child should know who her mother was. She left just as she came. Loretta did not care one way or the other, so she went outside to play. She never thought about her until one day her father and grandmother was arguing, Loretta's daddy said," all of you'll go get in the car". He was taking us away from the house , that was home.
Loretta never went any where except church which was two blocks away from home, and here he took them so far, she could never find her way back, after all she was only three. They was at the woman's house who was called their mother. I do not think Loretta knew the difference of what a mother was anyway, she just wanted Bigmama. All of the other brothers, and sisters were happy to be there, except Loretta, because she was kept in a room, not allowed to go out and play. She layed in a bed all day with her doll. She did not shed one tear. ( Maybe she should have). Everyone was always out of the house, Loretta's other sibling were sent to the movies and would come back with a bag of popcorn for her to eat. When her mother and this man tommy would peep in the room, she would always pretend to be asleep. This room was always pink looking and sad. It had windows but the sun was always outside, but she could hear them talking. She heard her mother say she needed to get to her juke joint because people were going to be coming after hours.
Everyone had to go to bed. Loretta woke up to a lot of yelling, This woman was having a baby, and the ambulance people was sticking gum through a whole to keep the children from seeing what was going on, later that day, her mother was chasing her oldest brother with a two by four stick. Some men were out there telling him to run, and that is what he did. Later that same day her father came and took them all back to Bigmama's house. This was a joyful time. When Loretta got out of the car she saw her brother sitting on the steps. She went and sat next to him, and did not move. Evening came and she still sat there looking up at the sky, thinking of how peaceful it was to just be able to sit there outside under the star at bigmama's until she was told to come in for bed. She never saw her mother again until the age of sixteen.
(Poem) Thank You Bigmama and PawPaw
You walked away and left us alone, you call my dad from a payphone just to say your kids are at home and I'm gone. He was so angry he pick up his shootgun, to shoot you like a rabbit was the words he said, but he could not find you after searching all day. You left him with six kids and no help at all until the state was going to come and get us all, but my grandmother came and open her door so we could be together for ever more. We were loaded up in her truck and taken with her, I will allways appreciate the love she gave by coming to our rescue on that very day. I had you both for eleven years until the day God called you home. We all were confused as to what we should do, left in the house and yet alone. father put in a gas heater and removed the coal stove something went wrong and burned the house down, and then there was nothing left.
