Loretta's mother -in -Law had a sister in East Saint Louis. She would drive there every other week-end to see her. She was in a wheel chair, and she was nice. Loretta called her Aunt Lucy. This one week-end was very strange to her because she had no idea what was about to happen. She felt different about the visit. All of a sudden Loretta found out they were leaving her and her baby there. Lucy needed help, why she has children of her own, a daughter for one who lived with her. Loretta thought this was strange. She had a married Son who lived one half block down the street with two grandchildern who was always left at her house. Why does she need me, were Loretta's thoughts. She was afraid to complain because she aways did as she was told.Her mother-in-Law left, and she was left feeling hurt. She now has a husband who came the following week, a baby and a woman in a wheel chair to care for at the young age of 15.
Thanks to Loretta's grandmother she was full filling the tasks put on her very well. Cooking, cleaning, baby care was natural and watching Aunt Lucy"s two grandchildren. One day Aunt Lucy told Loretta to go tell her son's wife to come get her children. She did as she was told, and went back to cooking in the kitchen. She looked up to see Aunt Lucy's daughter-in-Law come to hit her with a stick. She was a big woman. Loretta grabbed the stick and went behind this woman who could not stand up, and she wasbent over by the opened oven. Loretta was trying to push her in it. Raberta,(Aunt Lucy's daughter) ran in telling the woman she should be ashamed of herself trying to jump on a child. Raberta pushed her out of the house as she was yelling at Loretta,"I don't need you to come tell me what to do". Loretta finished cooking and went to her room. They had big rats running around and Loretta was afraid to sleep with the lights out. She would watch them come in and out of her room, some was even dragging decon boxes to other parts of the house. She was watching to make sure they did not get in her babies bed.
One morning Loretta woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon. She was happy and ran to the kitchen. She thought someone else was cooking. when she got to the kitchen, no one was in there. She asked Aunt Lucy was someone cooking breakfast, She said no," but there was a man who died here"."If you be quiet when he has finished his meal, you will hear him walking in the attic". Loretta got quite and she did hear footsteps, and they stopped in a area of the attic. Loretta ask ," why". Aunt Lucy said, " he has money hid up there, and he goes to check on it before he leaves". Aunt Lucy said, " don't you go up there to get, because if you do you won't be able to enjoy it". When Aunt Lucy passed away her son went in the attic and got the money. He was traveling out of town, and was in an accident. He ended up not being able to walk good, talk good, and finally in a nursing home. Loretta always remembered the words Aunt Lucy said.
Loretta and her husband moved to another area of Saint Louis, she was in a ok apartment. One day there was a knock at the door, it was the Landlord. He said your husband sent to you, to do favors for the rent. She was hurt and told him she'd tell his wife if he did't leave. He left and never bothered her again. This was the first time she spoke up for herself, she felt really good. Now she was turning a little bold, she knew this was the way to be, speaking up works. When she went to sleep one night, she woke in the middle of the night bleeding. Her husband got news paper to lay on the bed, and told her to lay on so not to mess the bed up. The paper was soaked with blood. This man just let her bleed out. The girl who lived upstair said go to the clinic and she would watch her son. Loretta was told she had a miscarriage and was bleeding to heavy. She was not able to process all of this, she let them do what was needed and went home. It never crossed her mind that her husband would have let her die that night, he did not care.
Poem " Life Changes"
Life can change on you oh so fast. It doesnt care that you had a past. It can come with just a blink of an eye, no matter how you look at it , yet you don't know why. No one ask if this is ok, they just expect you to do as they say. Growing up fast is what you must to, to keep up with life you must to see yourself through. Without no one caring, no one sharing, or giveing you a hand. think for your- self when you are in demand. No more closed lips to sink your ship, no more being quite, afraid to speak up, cause if you can you will definantly see that those around you will speak differently.
