Loretta became good friends with her upstair neighbor who was in her early twenties. She remained still in East Saint Louis. She also became friends with a white family who lived next door, after she found out the husband worked with her husband. She spent a lot of time with the two friends, who were giving her a lot of advice. The husband told her that her husband was seeing a woman on the job. She had a husband who was paralyed from the neck down. He told her where she lived, but Loretta didn't care. She was happy when he wasn't around. She had some fear's and a few scares, but she was happy. One day the girl upstairs brother stopped by, she met him and thought he was cute. He asked her out and she said yes. She has no thoughts of being married to say no. The night of her date she told her husband she was going out, and he needed to watch their son. He just looked at her as he was sitting on the steps, she just stepped by him and got in the dates car. The neighbors brother asked who was he, and that he was looking at him strangely. Loretta told him it was her husband.
The date went well and she asked him if she could stay the night , because she didn't want to talk to her husband. Loretta felt so comfortable she did not want to leave, but had to go home to her son. Her husband never said a word about that date. He just stayed away a lot. She figured he was up the street at his girl friends house. She was walking from the little store on the corner one day, and this car was driving slowly by her. She looked over and could see this man who was exposing himself, and she ran to a stranger house knocking on the door, the man drove off fast. Her heart was beating so fast, she never saw anything like that. The person answered the door asking what is wrong. Loretta told them a white guy was following her with his pants down, but he drove away. Later in life she thought about that, and thought how she could have went to a house that would have been worse then what she was running from. How stupid that was.
While talking to her friends they were telling her she could leave her husband. She asked them how and what would happen. The upstairs friend said there was a rooming house down from her moms, and she will talk to the owner and see what they could come up with for me. She also said Loretta could work with her doing telephone soliciting. She thought wow this sound great. She had no idea this could happen. She could leave and would be away on her own. She packed her bags, and waited for a word from her friend, to let her know it was ok. Her husband asked her what was the bags packed for, she told him she was leaving. He said, "right you can't leave me, you love me too much". Loretta was looking at him and asked him , What is that? Love I don't think so". It took a week for her answer to come so she could leave, and that is what she did. She felt great about thing. She was working, had a woman down the hall who sit with her son, and got rent free just to keep the place clean. What a way to go.
Her life changed for her. She go to work come home cook for her son, and sit in this window looking out everyday. She only had one room, but was content. The landlord promised her a two room apartment when it come available. There was a guy who walked by everyday. He finally yelled up to her and asked her why she sits there everyday. Loretta acted as if he was not talking to her. He must have gotten angry, because his word were to her, "oh you don't hear me, I'm about to come up there and rape you". Loretta was laughing saying , "yea right" she thought he was making a joke, she heard him at her door, jumped up and when he kicked open the door. she was standing there with her hands out, he put his hands in her, she started spinning hin in a circle real fast and let his hand go. He fell into the wall, and she ran out, she went down the street to the landlords bar to tell him what happened. They went back, and he was gone. The landlord moved her to the two rooms and that is where she stayed.
Poem " Feeling"
You can feel great about your life, you are content when not being a wife. You make change that are good for you, when not being told what you must do. The life of doing what you told you must. It was not so great with others they trust. Thinking in the light of what you must do. To survive is the answer, and that is truth. You go through thing, and see them to. Just keep your head up high and think whats best for you.
