Loretta was not intending to marry again. She just wanted continued freedom with her daughter. He son went to live with his dad who was paying for him to live with a woman he kept running away to be with. She was tired of trying to keep him on the right path. Her son was, as he said, tired of being a square so he wanted to hang out with the woman's sons. They were drinking, getting high, and his father was ok with that. She decided to let him go. She got a call one night, they had put him in the hospital. Her son claimed someone put something in his drink. Loretta told him to call his father. She could not deal with his new life of breaking into home, stealing, drinking and drugs. She left it right there where it should have been, and that was with his father.
Loretta met this guy while visiting her sister. He work on the apartment site where her sister lived. She had to go by to pick up her daughter after work. He thought she lived there, and she let him think that for a long time.Everyday he would come knocking on the door. Sometimes Loretta would hide in her sisters bedroom, she just did not want to be bothered. Her sister said," you should go out with him once just to see how he really is." She went with him to pick up some pizza, and go back to her sisters house. They ate pizza, talked, and she found out he had a son living with him. She thought, oh how cool. She wanted to know more. They finally got together, and thing went well. She came home from work one day, and he was moving her things to his apartment. confused she ask, "What is going on." He said, I have a on-site apartment, your sister said your father needed a place to live, because he is being evicted, I figured he could live here in your trailer, and you live with me and my son". She went to her sister's and asked what was going on? She told her as we are speaking right now they are sitting our fathers thing out on the curb, and he is in jail for none payment of a bill. She felt that when he gets out he can live in your trailer. Pitty for people will get you everytime, sometimes you need to say no, but she went along with the plan feeling sorry.
When Loretta's new man asked her to marry, she said, "I do not think enough time has gone by for us, so I will say if I can live with you for three years and only then will I say yes". She never stayed longer then three to four years in a relationship. Was she in love? no she just loved him. After a few years went by, " he asked her why she never say to him, "I love you"? She wanted to say it, but the word just would not come out of her mouth. She was content with showing how much she cared for someone, and not really be (In Love). She married him after three years. they were seven year into marrage when she got this card in the mail with her name on it with a list of women names on it. There were about six on the list and at the bottom read, these are the women your husband has had affairs with, and I am first on the list.That evening Loretta fixed his dinner, candels and all. She put the card in front of his place on the table. He came to the table smiling. She asked him what was he smiling for. He said," you did all this for me, makes me happy". She asked, " can you read your card". As he was reading his smile dropped. He said," this woman has done this to every man on this job, she is crazy". Loretta just smiled and said, There has to be some truth to it, and her guards went up. She continued her duties as a wife. Loretta and her daughter came home late from a church meeting one night, they heard someone run down the stairs, and out the front door. It was a woman who live in the complex. Loretta was done. She moved out and was doing well. Her husband beg for a long time, they went back together.
Loretta decided to stay with him for three more years and then divorce him after she got a call from this woman asking her if her husband was there. Loretta told the woman do not call again f..... with her or she will come to her house and beat her a... she was tired of fussing about him. She told him to move in a room upstairs and not bother her. He moved in the room, and one night came down and tried to rape her. She got loose and kneed him in his groin. He got up and walked out. Loretta was in pain, and was afraid she had caught an SD from him. She went to the doctor. He asked her what happen because there was some tearing during the exam. She told the doctor, her husband was raping her, and he finally left after she hurt him. The doctor said you know I need to report this. She beg him not to, and told him she will handel it. If it happens again she will call the police herself. When she returned home she told her husband what the doctor said, and told him if he puts his hands on her ever again she will have him arrested. Time went by and she filed for a divorce while he was living in the house. He did not want to sign the papers. Loretta said, " either you sign them, or you and that bitty will be sitting in court together". He signed them and finally moved in with the bitty. This was it for Loretta she was finally done with marriages, and men. She decided she could do bad by herself. She did date a couple of guys after, nothing serious but she did not want to be bothered with them being bossy toward her. She stopped dating too, because she could not give them her like they wanted.
Poem " No Matter What"
Life is sometimes hard and throws you for a loop. But what seem to matter is what can you do. You can live it in a dream or see it foe what it seems. You can move on and save yourself for what you can redeem. Live in pitty, and sadness to, but no one can tell you what to do. Unless you have walked in my shoes, and seen life through my eyes. The word you speak soon will die. You have to live just for you, think of what makes you happy, figure out what you must do. You decide cause only you knows, which way in life you must go. Just be happy,and just keep smiling, your wounds may be deep, and the pain my be there, but the way life is, only you will care.
