SPEAK UP
THIRD MARKING PERIOD
I felt good, I felt happy. Valentines Day is coming in another two weeks and for the first time I have something to look forward to that day. Gavin and I aren't dating, but it's a lot more then friends we have going on. He sits next to me in art and science and he holds my hand. We've kissed, but they're more like pecks.
I'm not ready for a relationship, I'm still trying to forgive myself. I don't know if I can forgive myself, but I need to get to a point where I don't feel guilty anymore and I'm not there. So I don't want to take things to a new level with Gavin, even if he'd like to.
But for the first time in a long time, things are looking good and I feel good. I've been speaking a lot more. Lola spent five minutes staring at me in shock when I said thank you when she gave me my Christmas present. My mother was even surprised when I complemented her apple pie. She looked lost for words. My therapist gave me the biggest smile ever when I told her to fuck off two sessions ago. English Coach had to stop teaching for a few minutes when I said no when he asked me to read out loud. He just set down the current book we were reading and looked at me shocked.
I guess people had noticed I stopped speaking. I almost forgot what it was like to speak, what it was like to have opinions that didn't bounce around in your head. I missed the communication, the outside world. I missed speaking up.
•••
So proud of myself, this is the 43rd installment.
YOU ARE READING
SUPPRESSION •Complete•
Ficção Adolescente"This would be a better story if I were dead." -Freya Sinclair ••• Suppression was never the key, that doesn't mean we didn't try to shove into the lock. @2014 all rights reserved Story is completed and is in the process of editing and then the chap...
