fly | madderton

SEVEN

Taron gently nudged Richard as the train slowed in the station, murmuring quietly into the other boy's hair. "Rich," He mumbled, "Rich, we're here. Wake up."

Slowly, the boy lifted his head and blinked his eyes. It brought a smile to Taron's face, and he couldn't help but think how adorable sleepy Richard was. He didn't say anything in response, simply nodded and slowly looked around the train, which was far emptier than he remembered it being. It was an almost startling sight for him to wake to, so he pressed his face back into Taron's shoulder. The action evoked a laugh from the older boy, who lifted his hand to gently ruffle Richard's hair.

"Come on. You can sleep in the car, and when we get to Jamie's..."

As if on cue, Jamie appeared in the aisle of the train. He hesitated when he saw Richard cuddled up to his friend, and a small smile appeared on his lips. Charlie walked up behind him, a little slower and looking a lot sleepier.

"We're here," Jamie said. He leaned up and started pulling their rucksacks from the overhead shelf, passing one over to Taron and holding the other, Richard's, for himself. Taron nodded, gently nudging Richard again.

"Come on. Just two minutes through the station. We'll be home in no time, Rich," Taron promised, whispering into his friend's hair. Richard lifted his head up slowly, and Taron felt his breath catch in his throat when their eyes locked, faces mere centimetres apart. Richard offered a small smile before turning to face their other two friends, offering them a similar, sleepy smile.

Getting off of the train wasn't too much of a hassle, nor was finding the car. Jamie's dad had lent him his car for the day so that they wouldn't have to co-ordinate a parent having to pick them up late at night. They'd also made a group decision to all stay at Jamie's house for the night, as it felt unfair to have him traipsing around in the dead of night dropping everyone off, only to have to come back on himself to get home. And, well, because they needed to have a sleepover.

It took Richard all of two minutes to fall asleep against Taron in the car (after moving up to the middle seat because he kept hitting his head against the window). Taron didn't really mind. The day had clearly taken a lot out of him, and this time he gave in pretty easily when Taron nudged him awake once they'd arrived at Jamie's. Although he hadn't previously felt too tired, Taron was relieved to finally have the chance to go to sleep properly. He was so certain that he'd pass out as soon as his head hit the pillow, but little did he know he was in for a long, sleepless night.

———

Jamie was first up in the morning. Or, at least, he thought he was. Once he started to move, one of the sleeping bodies on his bedroom floor began to sit up also.

"J? What time is it?" The figure whispered. Taron.

"Quarter to seven," Jamie whispered back, getting out of bed and starting to pull on some clothes, an old pair of jeans and a pale blue t-shirt.

"God, okay. Where are you going?"

"Feeding time. I'm a little late, this morning. Usually out by half past."

"Can I come with?" Taron asked, starting to wriggle out of his sleeping bag.

"Of course."

They were both quick to be up and dressed, and were soon heading out to the barn.

"Sleep well?" Jamie asked, pushing his hands in his jacket pockets as the cool morning breeze brushed past his bare skin.

"Hardly. Felt like I didn't sleep, but I think I must've somewhere. Had some things on my mind."

"Some things? Or someone?" Jamie paused to turn and look at Taron as they reached the door to the feed room. He rested his hand on the door handle, raising his eyebrows before turning to unlock the door. His comment made Taron stop to think. How did he know?

"What do you mean?"

Jamie let the two of them in, switching the light on before grabbing the pile of buckets and beginning to separate them onto the floor. He shrugged, leaving a short while of silence between the two before he spoke up again.

"Richard?"

"What about him?"

A smile appeared on Jamie's face, hidden by the fact that he was facing the feed bins, scooping sweet-smelling chaff into each bucket. "You just seem close, you know? Real close."

"We're best friends. Of course we're close, Jamie. I don't get what you're going on about." Taron leant back against the wall, shaking his head and folding his arms.

"You're getting defensive. Is it more than that?"

Knowing Jamie was onto him, Taron gave up almost immediately. He'd never been great at hiding his feelings, and feared that trying to lie would only further Jamie's suspicions. So, he rolled over.

"Maybe. I don't know. I really don't know. What should I do?"

"How do you feel?" Jamie didn't miss a beat as he spoke, in an almost robotic trance as he put each different component in its respectful bucket.

"Well... Bad. Really bad. I don't want to feel like this." Taron glanced around, sitting on an upended bale of straw in the corner of the small storage area. He really was beginning to trouble himself over his feelings. It was unnatural. He shouldn't be attracted to his best friend.

"Bad? Why?" This comment made Jamie pause, and turn to look at his friend, "Like, because he's a boy?"

"No! Oh, God, no. No, you know me, Jamie. I like guys, I don't try and hide it. But... Something just doesn't feel right. I feel like... I feel like I shouldn't feel like this. It feels so wrong." Taron rubbed his face, sighing deeply, "I don't know. What do I do?"

Jamie turned to finish off the feeds, and started stacking the buckets once he was happy with them. He took his time to reply, having to think through his advice before he voiced it. "So... You like Richard?" Taron nodded, catching his lip between his teeth. Jamie nodded his head for Taron to follow him as he left the room and walked out towards the paddocks. "Okay. Well, I'd say you should tell him. Look, it's clear from the way you look at him and act around him. At least, to me. And he's always cuddling up to you and being close to you, that seems like he likes you back, no?"

"I cannot tell him. No, absolutely not. Do you know what it would do to our friendship? I can't risk ruining that for some silly crush. He doesn't even know I'm gay! What if he hates me for it?"

Taron had spent more than enough time mulling over the possibility of Richard being gay, and had come to the conclusion that he would know if he was. He was pretty good at detecting which way guys swung, and hadn't got even the slightest inkling in his twelve years of knowing Richard and being his closest friend. Even if he wasn't interested in him, Taron was certain that he'd know if Richard was interested in other men. He wasn't, he was straight.

Jamie passed the buckets under the fence to the respectful horses, humming slightly as he thought over his response. He wanted to see both his friends happy, but wasn't completely sure how to advise in such a situation. "If he hates you for it, he's not worth having around, T. With that said, he won't hate you for it. I'd tell him, and if he knows you're gay, he might feel more comfortable telling you if he is. He might not be, though. It's a difficult one, mate."

"I guess you've got a point. Do I really want to be friends with a homophobe?"

"No."

"So... You really think I should tell him?" Taron asked, following Jamie back to the barn.

"A hundred percent. What have you got to lose, other than a homophobic friend?"

Taron paused to think when they made it to the feed room, watching Jamie scoop out a jug full of feed from a bag of chicken grain. He let the silence hang between them as Jamie moved around scooping out of various bags and bins, resting each scoop upright in a bucket which he picked up before turning back to Taron, "Well?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna tell him. Thanks, Jamie."

i'm honestly not sure if this is boring or not i'm worried this story is already going downhill