fly | madderton

FOUR

"Thank God they're gone," Taron said, dropping his rucksack by the front door and turning to face Richard. Richard laughed and shook his head, ensuring the front door was locked before he began to shrug his jacket off. Once he'd hung it on the wall, he turned to face Taron.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to say that? That it was mean? We don't know when we'll see them again?" Richard took a step closer with each sentence, until Taron's back was against the wall once more, and Richard was pressed close against him.

"Yeah, well. I said that a long time ago. Before I realised how irresistible you are. It was a long two days." Taron lifted both his arms and draped them around Richard's neck, pulling the other boy closer so he could press a kiss to his lips. They'd gotten far more comfortable around one another, even with the few day gap whilst they had visitors. "Have you had a shave?"

"Mhm, this morning. Happy?"

"Very," Taron whispered, pulling Richard in for yet another kiss. They stayed there for far longer than necessary, but the realities of time seemed to slip away when it was just the two of them alone. They simply couldn't break apart, especially not after being forced to distance one another for even such a short time.

After a little while longer of them kissing in the entryway, Richard pulled back and gazed into Taron's eyes. They were beautiful, an ever-changing swirl of green, blue and grey. Richard could never decide quite what to call the colour, but he knew he liked it. "Come on," He whispered, "Lets go lie down." He kicked off his shoes, waiting for Taron to do the same before leading him over to the small sofa at the far end of the room. Richard laid down first, holding his arms open for Taron to lay down second. Taron waited until he'd switched on the TV to do so, giving them some quiet background noise. He laid half on top of Richard, his head tucked into the crook of Richard's neck. Richard's hand immediately gravitated towards Taron's hair, as if it was a reflex to constantly be playing with his soft locks. "T?"

"Hm?"

"Have... Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

A small smile appeared on Taron's lips at the question, even though Richard couldn't see his face. He lifted a hand to gently trail his fingertip across what of Richard's torso he could see, tracing shapes on his shirt. "Mhm. Just one. Well, only one actual boyfriend, label-wise."

"But you've been with... Other boys? Or, was that one not really a boyfriend?"

Taron could feel his cheeks heat up at the question. He wasn't sure what exactly had caused Richard's sudden interest, and whilst he wasn't exactly ashamed of his past, he hadn't expected to have to spill it all to Richard so bluntly. "Well, I just had the one that I called that. And, um, yeah. I've been with a few boys, but they were never anything proper. I had a girlfriend, too. Didn't last very long because I kept rejecting her advances. Don't know how I didn't see it coming sooner, to be honest." Both boys shared a short chuckle at that.

Richard was mulling over what he'd just learnt. He wanted to by nosy and pry further, but wasn't sure how comfortable Taron would be. "I've had a girlfriend," He said, craning his neck to press a kiss to the mess of hair in front of him, "I think that's the confusing thing..."

"That you like girls?" Taron shifted, leaning up on one forearm to look at Richard. Richard just nodded, his free arm moving to drape over Taron's waist. "You can like both. Some people like both. That's okay."

"It just feels a bit weird... Like- Almost like I'm lying to myself."

Taron shook his head, pressing a gentle kiss to Richard's lips. "It's completely okay, Dicky. If that's what you like, it's what you like... Does this mean you've come to a decision?"

Richard paused for a moment, still allowing his fingers to play with Taron's hair. The silence was enough for Taron to know the answer, laying back against Richard's chest and closing his eyes. He didn't want to give Richard any indication of how he felt. No, he didn't want his feelings to be a burden on the other boy. He couldn't do that.

"I'm sorry."

Taron just shook his head. He couldn't trust his voice enough to speak, so words would have to be put on hold. The lack of answers was killing him - by this point he'd decided he didn't even care if Richard didn't like him back. Sure, he'd be bummed, but he'd get over it. Living in the constant limbo of not knowing where their relationship lied was what was tearing him apart. A strong arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer yet to Richard's body. A while passed before there was any more sound from the pair, other than Taron's quiet sniffling (no matter how hard he tried to hide it.)

"I am sorry, T," Richard said after a while. He'd laid and stared at the ceiling for what felt like forever, giving Taron a squeeze every so often as if to make sure he was still there. "I have- I have come to a decision. I just feel weird about it you know? I really don't want to mess you about..."

Taron sighed and leant up again so he could look at Richard, suddenly seeming to find his courage. "You are messing me about, Rich. Pick one way or the other, I don't care. I just hate this- this not knowing. I can't get over you if I'm still holding out hope."

"And I'm so, so sorry. I really am, but... I really think I like you. I do... So, do you think you could forgive me? Maybe... Maybe we could properly give this a try?"

He wanted to be strong and make Richard fight for him, at least a little, but Taron couldn't do it. He was just overjoyed to hear what he wanted. To hear that sent him over the moon. "Of course, of course we can. Thank you, Dicky." He couldn't hide his smile as Richard gently stroked the back of his hand down Taron's cheek, even turning to press a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

"I'll figure out what to do about my parents... I don't think they'll be too happy..." Richard laughed quietly, looking away from Taron as his mind drifted to what their reaction could be. Whatever it would be, it certainly wouldn't be good. "But, that doesn't matter. What's for tea?"

i'm not happy w this chapter but i'm trying to get back into the swing of posting so here it is im sorry boys