fly | madderton

TWO

"I... Shouldn't be here? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you shouldn't be here."

Neither boy moved, just maintaining eye contact from across the room. Taron's face was full of confusion and worry, whereas Richard still had a look which Taron couldn't quite name. It wasn't necessarily one of anger, nor of upset. In fact, it almost matched the look of worry present on Taron's face, with a glint of something slightly more sinister.

"But... Why?"

Richard waved Taron into the room, and he did as such, pulling his suitcase in and closing the door behind him.

"Is this... Is it about what happened?"

"No, no... There's just... I really don't think this is a good idea. It's sweet, and it's really nice of you, but..." Richard trailed off, finally having to avert his gaze entirely. He dragged his eyes across the room before settling for looking out of the window, chewing on his bottom lip. A few seconds of silence hung heavy in the air, before the tension being broken by a shake of Richard's head. "Come on, put your stuff down. Lets go on a walk."

———

It didn't take Richard long to get ready for their walk, and the pair walked the first five or so minutes in relative silence. Richard knew the footpaths well, so was leading the way two steps ahead of a nervous, silent Taron. He was still trying to figure out what was going on, without upsetting or annoying Richard more than he already had done. Luckily for him, Richard was just leading them away from the house, and soon dropped back to walk beside Taron.

"I'm sorry," He said, pausing to take a breath, "I'm really sorry for freaking out like that before. It wasn't cool of me."

Taron was a little shocked that Richard had brought it up. He'd half expected Richard to brush it under the rug, but he was glad that hadn't happened, because Taron certainly didn't know how to start that discussion. "No, no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." Over the weeks they'd been apart, Taron had had the time to mull over his actions, and decide that it was kind of a bad move to spring news like that on Richard just before he left. Still, he needed to find out at some point, and telling him any earlier left him at risk of having an icy, homophobic ex-friend living in his house until his three weeks were up. That was a risk he wasn't willing to take. He'd also decided on what he thought was the best course of action, if this conversation were to arise. "I was drunk, you know? I just think that... Maybe the spirits got the best of me. I didn't mean it, and I'm really sorry if I messed everything up..."

There was a short silence from Richard, who kept his eyes on the floor as he processed Taron's rambling. "Oh..." Was all he eventually came out with, almost appearing a little dejected. "Well, okay. Don't worry about it, honest."

There was yet another short bout of silence as the two wandered on down the dusty dirt track. Taron's gaze wandered to his right as they walked past a gap in the trees, and he caught a glimpse of the perfect rows of the golden stubble field they were walking alongside. He'd always loved living in the countryside, just to always have access to such beautiful, serene views. It would be such a shame when he had to move away.

"So, if it's not that... Is there any other reason I shouldn't be here?"

Taron posed his question in quite a joking manner, hoping his upbeat tone would mean Richard couldn't be mad at him. No, rather he'd laugh it off with Taron and then find some other vein of conversation, if he really didn't want to discuss it.

"Yeah, well, you see..." Richard was struggling to find the right words to say, without Taron finding his message offensive. It would be easy enough to do, because what he wanted to say was bordering on offensive, if not actually being as such. "My parents... If they find out... That you're, you know... If they find out you're gay, well..."

A heavy sigh slipped past Taron's lips, and he stopped in his path. Whatever emotion he was experiencing, he couldn't quite figure out. What he did know, was that none of it was aimed towards Richard. He couldn't bring himself to do that. Richard noticed a few steps later, and turned to face Taron.

"Really... They'd be upset?"

"They're... They just don't like it. Just think that it isn't natural, or something... I'm really sorry, T. I wish I could change their minds, but-"

"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault... You- You don't mind, do you?" Taron lifted his head to look at Richard, his eyes anxiously scanning his friend's face, trying his hardest to figure out what he was feeling.

"Of course not, love. I told you this." Richard's voice softened, reaching out to rest his hand on Taron's shoulder. "I really, really wish I could change their minds, but, honestly..." His head dropped, looking down at the ground between their feet. "I- they don't really like being challenged, and I don't want them to think-"

"You don't want them to think... That you're gay?"

Richard moved his hand to press it against his face, rubbing his eyes. "God, that sounded bad, didn't it?"

"No, no. Well, a bit. Don't worry, I know what you mean."

Richard nodded, finally looking up to offer Taron a strained smile. He hadn't wanted to upset Taron, or ruin the mood of the reunion. Surely he should be happy that his friend had travelled three countries to see him, yet all he'd done was tell him to leave and been almost homophobic. Certainly not the meeting that Taron had hoped for, nor what Richard would have ever wanted it to be.

"Well. You're eighteen, now. Why don't you just move out?" Taron asked, following Richard when he began to walk again. "They can't stop you."

"It's not that easy, T... I can't just ditch my family."

Taron, sensing that he'd maybe struck a chord with his comment, decided that there would be a good place to shut up, and instead look for a more upbeat avenue for their chat. "Nevermind... This should be a happy time. Come on, where are we off?"

"This way. There's a really good hill, just watch out for the sheep poo."

It was a bizarre thing to admit, but Taron couldn't think of any other words that could have left Richard's lips to make him feel more at home.