The Deal * Seokmin x Joshua

Eighteen

Joshua's heart leapt out of his chest at the buzz of his phone. He'd been laying in the dim silence for who knows how long just staring at the roof. His chest felt heavy and his stomach churned at the image burned into his brain of Soonyoung leading Seokmin away by the arm. Two bright souls with sparkling smiles walking away happy and excited. They were perfect for each other.

He was running out of time.

When Seokmin had left him he couldn't be bothered going to the cafe. He just didn't have the energy. Trying to put up this front, trying to be someone he wasn't, it was just so exhausting. He was doing a great job of appearing to be worldly and mature, experienced and sophisticated, when inside he was just insecure and sad. Sad that he had the most amazing man in his grasp and he didn't know how to hold on.

He couldn't believe he'd fallen into the same situation despite intentionally setting out to avoid it. Somehow he'd ended up craving the sweet beguiling lips and breathless embrace of pure innocence. It was addicting.

The hurt was bubbling just below the surface but the thought of Seokmin's gleaming white smile chased it back down. He wasn't the same, he wasn't Joshua's ex, he couldn't guarantee the same thing would happen. Maybe if he let him go things wouldn't work out between Seokmin and Soonyoung and Joshua could be there to pick up the pieces?

"Ugh. You're such a disgusting pig," he swore out loud, ashamed of himself beyond words. How sick could he be to wish heartbreak on the innocent boy just so he could catch him when he fell? He was a horrible person. But he didn't know what else to do to. Seokmin wasn't his, he never was, he knew he couldn't keep him forever. When he read the text his heart began to beat back into life at the hope that, if not forever, he could at least have him for the night. He quickly text back his reply and jumped off the bed to get ready.

Two hours later he was walking briskly across the damp sports oval from his apartment to the dorms. On a whim he turned left instead of right at the edge of the oval and headed in the direction of the convenience store on the corner. The selection was small but they were fresh and he chose a short stemmed bunch of pink roses. Corny, cheesy and so clichéd. Seokmin would love them. He clutched them tight as he walked the rest of the way into the dorms and knocked at the door. Footsteps pounded behind the wood and it was suddenly flung open to reveal a widely grinning Seokmin flushed and excited. "I got a callback for the cast!" He said and Joshua's smile matched his. "Really? That's amazing!" He revealed the bunch of pink roses from behind his back and pressed them towards Seokmin who looked at him quizzically. "Hyung," he whispered as he looked around, "you didn't have to. I mean, it's just us here, no one's watching." "I wanted to," the urgency in Joshua's voice covered his nervousness as he pressed them against Seokmin's chest. "Don't you like them?"

Seokmin's cheeks turned the same shade as the flowers as he smiled down at them. "They're beautiful," he said wistfully as they finally moved out of the doorway.

Joshua watched Seokmin as he moved around the dorm gathering his things. He looked amazing, dressed just the way Joshua liked him, button up open at the collar and jeans tightly hugging his thighs. He felt suddenly hot as he watched Seokmin lean over a little too low as he grabbed his keys from the desk by the wall. "Ready?" He asked, turning around, and Joshua shook his head clear. "Ready!" He said.