The Deal * Seokmin x Joshua

Twenty one

Joshua pushed open the door and listened to the tingle of the little bell. Seokmin was rehearsing with Soonyoung again and this left Joshua, alone and bored, trying to fill time to keep his mind off if. He had his laptop under his arm and a craving for coffee which could only be satiated at his favorite coffee house.

"Good morning sunshine," Jeonghan brightened when he saw him. "Good morning," Joshua said. He ordered a double shot caramel latte and ignored Jeonghan's raised eyebrows at the rich sugary treats he pointed out inside the glass cabinet. "Take a seat," Jeonghan said. "I'll bring it out. I'm actually going on break soon so if you like I'll join you."

Joshua wasn't really in the mood to study but he opened his laptop anyway and began working on a theory essay. He tapped away until Jeonghan slid into the seat across from him with a tray of coffees and cakes and sandwiches. "You look like you need to let off some steam," Jeonghan said with a flirtatious lilt to his voice. "Unfortunately we don't serve alcohol here but I can blow you in the storeroom if you want." His eyes sparkled and when Joshua met them with his he immediately downcast them to his shaking hands. "Hey," Jeonghan said sharply, immediately moving to the seat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. "I was just kidding. Are you okay?" Joshua shook his head.

He was wracked with guilt. He couldn't stop thinking about the way Seokmin felt under him, how hot it was inside him, how every move Joshua had made drew soft shy little sounds from his lips. But even more than that, besides the craving for his skin Joshua was suffering with, he was just so taken with the boy's beautiful spirit. His shining personality, his gentle heart, his fun and caring nature. The way he went from zero to a hundred when something ignited his sparkling sense of humour. Most of all, the raw emotion of his voice when he was singing on stage, all self consciousness swallowed up by immense talent and his perfectly pure heart. And he'd ruined him. Touched him, put his mouth and hands on his body, and enjoyed it. He'd laid him down in a bed of lies and took what his selfish body wanted. Now he was stuck with a constant craving for Seokmin's skin, to taste his tongue and run fingers through his soft dark hair, to feel him spread open with Joshua's weight on top of him.

"Please don't flirt with me any more," he said to Jeonghan as he began to stuff his mouth with a chocolate tart. "I have a boyfriend." "Okay," Jeonghan said as he picked at a spinach and feta roll. "But you've always had a boyfriend and it never mattered to you before." "Well things change," Joshua snapped as party crumbs sprayed out onto the keyboard of his computer. "Sorry," he immediately felt bad for snapping and grabbed a napkin to wipe up his mess. "I, ah..." Joshua really needed someone to talk to and he didn't have anyone else. He rubbed his eyes and when he looked over at Jeonghan he saw that the flirtatious leer had been replaced with sweet concern. "I know I seem like a shallow jerk but I'm actually a really good listener," Jeonghan said as he reached over and rubbed the back of Joshua's hand.

He took a deep breath and blinked back tears. "I think I'm in love with him. I thought I was in love once before, back home, but now I know I was just a stupid kid. My ex was such a jerk. I let him use me because I was so needy, so needy and stupid, and he couldn't give me what I wanted and it really messed me up. Now I have Seokmin and he's perfect. Literally perfect. He's the most wonderfully flawless human being I've ever met and I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with him and I feel like I'm fucking it all up again."

He heard Jeonghan sigh deeply from across the table. "Okay, we have heaps of food so just start at the beginning and tell me everything. I'm sure you're not fucking it up." Jeonghan shoved the rest of the spinach roll in his mouth and grinned as he chewed. "It's a shame really. I showed Seungcheol a photo of you and he told me to ask you if you'd consider a threesome," when he looked up the flirtatious glint in Jeonghan's eye was back but Joshua just threw the balled up napkin at him and laughed.

He spilled it all. His past with Jeffrey, his baggage carried into his new life on the other side of the world, his transformation into the person he always wanted to be. He told Jeonghan about his deal with Seokmin, how as soon as he realised what he really wanted it was slipping though his fingers, the torture of knowing Seokmin was off somewhere with Soonyoung having an amazing time. He told him about the night he took Seokmin's virginity and how he couldn't stop thinking about anything else besides getting the boy back in his bed. Finally he heaved a huge sigh and leaned back in the chair. "I feel better now thanks Jeonghan. I guess I just had to get it all off my chest. I don't have any friends here besides Seokmin and his friends and they hate me. They think I'm cheating on him, sneaking around with you behind his back, and I don't know how to make any of this right." Jeonghan smiled sympathetically at him as he looked at his watch. "It's a real mess Joshua," he said gently. "You know, you could make all this right very easily, just tell him the truth." "No way," Joshua shook his head. "I'll lose him for sure. I'm not blowing my chance this time." Jeonghan stood up and Joshua did too. Jeonghan held his arms out and Joshua fell into them as the other man stroked his hair comfortingly. "Just be honest with him Joshua," he said into the man's fluffy mop of brown hair, "if you can't tell him how you feel make sure you show him." "Okay," Joshua said as he snuggled his face into Jeonghan's shoulder. It felt wonderful to have someone he could really talk to. Joshua needed a friend.

"I'm impressed," Seungkwan professed loudly as they walked across the grassed area near the dance studios. Seungkwan was rarely impressed so Seokmin beamed with pride. "I told you. Soonyoung might have the attention span of a puppy but he's an amazing dance teacher." Soonyoung and Seokmin had spent the best part of the morning learning how to boogie, bunny hop and jitterbug. They both knew that if they got parts in the musical they'd have to be able to do those and more and there was nothing wrong with being prepared.

"Where's Joshua hyung?" Hansol asked as they walked towards the cafe. "I think he's studying. I haven't seen him today." Seokmin bit his bottom lip as his feet kicked at the damp grass. He hadn't seen Joshua since the weekend - since they'd lazed around and recovered from their hangovers. He had an awful feeling Joshua was avoiding him.

Seokmin's frown faded when he saw Seungkwan studying him as they walked. "He's just busy. He has a lot of theory work for his music classes this semester." The lie was empty and Seokmin knew it was unsatisfying when he caught Seungkwan and Hansol making eyes at each other. He knew he shouldn't have talked Joshua into extending the deal. He'd taken up enough of his time as it was.

"Coffee?" Hansol asked and Seokmin wasn't listening. "I asked if you want coffee?" Hansol pointed to the cafe ahead and Seokmin nodded. They walked on in silence until the reached the big glass windows and Hansol reached out for the door and dropped his hand suddenly. "What?" Seungkwan asked when he saw the look on his face and Hansol just pointed. Seokmin and Seungkwan looked around him into the cafe and Seungkwan gasped. Seokmin's heart dropped in his chest when he saw Joshua hugging Jeonghan in the middle of the cafe.

"No," Seokmin grabbed hold of Hansol's arm when he saw the look on his face. Hansol frowned and tried to pull it away but Seokmin clung tightly to him stopping him from opening the door. "Seokmin hyung, you better give me one good reason to not go in there and punch him," he said and Seokmin knew it was over. He had to come clean to them. His face, usually so bright and sunny, twisted into forlorn sadness as Seokmin looked from Hansol to Seungkwan and took a deep breath.

"Joshua hyung isn't really my boyfriend. We were just pretending," he said quietly as he stared at the ground. He'd been lying to his two best friends, lying to Joshua, lying to himself. It was time to stop lying.

"We made a deal to pretend to be in a relationship so I could look cool in front of Soonyoung and he could make Jeonghan jealous. But..." tears filled his eyes as he looked into their concerned faces and he decided to just let it out. "But I think I've actually fallen for him and now I don't know what to do..."

Hansol and Seungkwan just stared at him in silence.