The Deal * Seokmin x Joshua

Thirty one

Seokmin couldn't help it. Tears streamed down his cheeks as the cold night air hit them. Even though it was false, even though it wasn't real, he'd fooled himself into thinking it was. Or, at least it could be, but all that was gone. "If he wanted to get back with him why couldn't he just tell me first," he mumbled softly as Hansol hugged him tight to his body. Hansol looked over at Seungkwan struggling with drunk Soonyoung and whispered 'later' in his ear. This needed to be talked about without the other present.

"Let me go back," Soonyoung suddenly turned and shrugged himself out of Seungkwan's grasp. "Soonyoung don't worry about it," Seokmin pleaded with his drunk friend. "I'll deal with it myself tomorrow, please Soonyoung," his voice cracked and finally broke and he started to sob. Soonyoung stopped flailing and turned to wrap Seokmin in his arms and, to their surprise, started to cry too. "He needs a slap," Soonyoung whispered through his drunk tears and Seokmin could only nod. "Yeah he does," he said with a rueful smile. It was the saddest smile he'd ever let grace his features and it was as if the sun had passed behind a thick dark cloud, its bright light dimmed.

"You already gave him a punch," Seokmin began to giggle and Soonyoung laughed too. Soon they were walking and laughing, arms linked and cheeks streaked with tears, Hansol and Seungkwan trailing behind them. Seokmin's stomach churned with guilt, he'd put too much burden on them lately, he shouldn't have even dragged them into tonight's fiasco in the first place.

"I don't want to be alone," he said as he clung onto Soonyoung's arm. "Can you stay with me?" He was a little drunk but not as drunk as Soonyoung but the walk had sobered them both up and now they were standing outside Seokmin's dorm building. "Of course," Soonyoung said as he turned to Hansol and Seungkwan. "I'll look after him tonight. We'll be fine." "Really?" Hansol said and Seokmin nodded. "Call me in the morning so we can have breakfast and sort this out when I'm sober. Okay?" Seungkwan looked over from Hansol to Soonyoung and back to Hansol who nodded to Seokmin's relief. "See you in the morning," Seungkwan said and in a moment of sentimentality he leaned over and pressed a kiss to his friends' forehead. "Get some sleep. Both of you."

"Shhh," Seokmin said as he unlocked the front door. "My roommate is a bit scary. I don't think he'll mind you being here thought," he said as he walked in to the silent dorm room. Jihoon's door was open which meant he wasn't home and Seokmin relaxed. "You okay to sleep on the floor?" he asked and Soonyoung nodded as his eyelids drooped. He wouldn't have any problem sleeping anywhere. Seokmin grabbed a pillow and blanket from his closet and by the time he got turned around Soonyoung was already closing his eyes as he laid out flat on the carpet. "Here," Seokmin tossed the pillow and blanket to him as Soonyoung sat up and tossed his hoodie off and onto the floor. "Good night," Seokmin whispered as he turned the light off. He crept into his bed and snuggled down in all his clothes. He didn't even bother taking off his shirt or jeans.

"Are you going to break up with him?" Soonyoung asked quietly in the darkness. "I have to," Seokmin said as his voice wavered and his body trembled. Everyone had seen what Joshua was doing with Jaehyun. Everyone saw him crying, Soonyoung swinging, Jaehyun laughing. Videos of them would be all over the campus by morning. He'd be a laughing stock if he forgave him and stayed with him. It was hard to remember that this was all fake, he shouldn't be so upset, if anything Joshua had done him a favour. He'd given them the perfect believable way to split up their fake relationship. Seokmin sat up and undid the necklace from around his neck and placed it on the bedside table before laying back down. He'd give it back tomorrow. The deal was over for sure this time.

A hand crept into his in the pitch-black room and squeezed gently. "Your friends are all here for you," Soonyoung whispered and Seokmin nodded even though he couldn't see him. "Thanks," he whispered as tears began to fall silently down his cheeks again. "I'll need you."

Joshua rolled over and groaned. He had no idea where he was. His eyes wouldn't focus, they would barely even open and he felt like his whole body had lead coursing through the veins. His head hurt, his eyes hurt, and when he tried to lick his dry cracked lips they hurt too. The taste of blood shocked him a little into sitting up and he put his hand to his mouth and felt it swollen and bruised.

"What the fuck.." he whispered under his breath. It was only then that he registered where he was. He was on a couch near the back door of Jaehyun's friends share house. He couldn't remember how he got there or falling asleep. He couldn't remember anything after taking a huge puff of that ridiculously strong weed and immediately regretting his actions. He couldn't remember why his shirt stank like vomit or why his mouth was bloody and bruised. A sinking feeling settled in his stomach as he began to realise he wasn't ready to remember.

"Good morning sunshine," a voice called out and Joshua turned to see Jaehyun standing in the middle of the alcohol soaked room. He looked significantly less bedraggled than Joshua felt. "What happened?" Joshua groaned as he ran a hand through his hair and Jaehyun chuckled. "You went in too hard on    and, well, check your notifications. You get pretty feisty when you're wasted Joshua," Jaehyun said. "You really should know your limits better."

Joshua's stomach churned as he leaned over and found his phone on the floor. He had so many notifications and scrambled to unlock it and find out what happened before it went flat. He remembered someone telling him Seokmin was leaving with Soonyoung. He remembered the heady smell of weed and he remembered coughing his lungs up at how strong it was. He remembered floating in a sea of warm but terrifying sounds and sensations as it crept through his veins and into his brain.

And then, just as he clicked on the video he was tagged in, he remembered lips on his. Lips on his and hands on his body, but they weren't warm and loving and soft, they were aggressive and hungry and mocking. Tears filled his eyes as he watched the shaky video of Jaehyun pressing him against the wall and himself just letting him. It was clearly one of Jaehyun's friends filming them. He could hear someone laughing in the background, egging him on, saying 'Jae's been here a few days and he's already getting it in'. There was another voice, Mingyu's he thought, begging the other to stop filming.

There was another video. In this one Soonyoung breaks free from Seokmin's grasp. 'How could you do this to him?' the dancer screamed as he unleashed a pretty fierce punch to Joshua's mouth. The video was shaky and grainy but showed everything, Joshua's dazed expression, Jaehyun's smirk, Soonyoung's anger. Most of all it showed the absolute devastation on Seokmin's face as everyone watched on. Joshua shook as he closed his phone and threw up all over the floor. His body went cold as it heaved and rejected everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

'How could you do this to him?'

Joshua didn't know. Even though their relationship wasn't real, he'd just humiliated Seokmin in front of half their university. Everyone who wasn't there would have seen these videos by now. "Fuck you," he snapped at a still-chuckling Jaehyun as he stood up and searched for his shirt and shoes. He had to make this right and he had to do it quickly. He didn't know if he even still had a chance, he knew he definitely didn't deserve one, but he had to try and apologise. He found his shirt under his head and his shoes by the couch and he dressed as quickly as he could before grabbing his phone and running out of the share house into the bright morning sun.

The sun burned into his retinas as he dragged his struggling body out of the share house and across the campus. It was the worst walk of shame he'd ever experienced. People stared at him; makeup smudged and split lip bleeding, as he walked in last night's clothes towards Seokmin's room. He wasn't sure if they had seen the videos or were just amused by his dishevelled state but either way he deserved their scorn. He deserved the shame and he deserved the stares and whispers but Seokmin didn't. He wanted to throw up again but he kept walking.

He finally made it and knocked at the door of Seokmin's dorm. He waited nervously as he heard the sound of feet walking towards it and when it was thrown open he faced his greatest nightmare. Soonyoung, shirtless and scowling, stood in the doorway with no intention of moving aside.