The Deal * Seokmin x Joshua

Thirty six

Joshua woke up to the sun. Not the rays beaming in from the half open curtains but the bright smile of Seokmin in all its glory. "Hi," he said softly and hid his face a little behind the blanket. The way the other was looking at him was making him feel shy. "Hi," Seokmin said and pulled the blanket down. "Want to go out for breakfast?" Joshua nodded. He couldn't think of a better Sunday morning.

He watched Seokmin get up from the bed and walk over to the closet and throw it open. The soft and luxurious robe was hanging in in its place just waiting for him and Joshua sighed with satisfaction when he watched the other toss it over his bare shoulders. "Coffee?" he asked and Joshua nodded again. He'd somehow been reduced to some sort of shy giggling idiot overnight. "Don't get up," he said as he disappeared out of the room in a swathe of navy satin and sunshine.

Joshua couldn't believe it was real. After all he'd put Seokmin through, all the drama, and he still wanted him. Wanted to be with him, the awkward dorky Joshua who was too clingy and romantic, the self-conscious man with the abusive ex-boyfriend. The real Joshua. He was beyond lucky. He lay back in the pile of fluffy pillows and luxuriated in the scent of Seokmin still lingering on them. He barely had time to collect himself before Seokmin was back, two steaming mugs in hand, climbing back into the sheets beside him.

"What do we do now?" Joshua asked and Seokmin frowned, confused, as he took a sip from his mug. "Shower?" he shrugged and Joshua shook his head. "No, about us..." he sipped his own mug and delighted in how perfect it was. Everything Seokmin did, for him and around him, was perfect. It made him a little uneasy; Joshua was far from perfect and didn't know how to be the perfect boyfriend. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be," Seokmin replied making Joshua wither a little under his gaze. He was supposed to be the hyung, older and wiser, more confident and dominant. But he didn't want to be. Seokmin was so quietly self-assured that it made Joshua just want to luxuriate in his aura and follow dutifully in his wake.

"I just want to be together. I don't care about what people think, about what they say, who stares and whispers. We have nothing to be ashamed of hyung, only Jaehyun does, he's a predator. He needs to be exposed." Joshua wished it were that easy. He didn't mean to voice his feelings aloud but he must have and only realised when he was suddenly swept up in Seokmin's strong arms. "Of course it can be that easy. We have each other. Who cares what other people think?" "But your friends?" Joshua stammered and Seokmin sighed. "What about them? Soonyoung is the one who pushed me to make up with you. Hansol and Seungkwan, don't worry about them, they're not perfect..." Seokmin knew this was going to be hard but he didn't care. "They knew. I told them it was all fake. They've watched me fall in love with you and carry this on way longer than I should have. They're just scared I'm going to get hurt."

"They knew?" Joshua asked, surprised, his gentle almond shaped eyes wide with curiosity. "Yeah they knew. Shit, they kept seeing you flirting with Jeonghan, they thought you were cheating on me. Other people probably did too. I had to tell them the truth." Joshua was hit by how easy it would be for people to see Seokmin as this poor innocent victim, and he as a sly philanderer. "This really is a mess," Joshua groaned and Seokmin shook his head furiously. "No hyung, it isn't. It's actually really simple." He took the coffee from Joshua's hand and placed it gently on the bedside table before cupping the older's cheeks with his long beautiful fingers.

"I love you. I want to be with you. I don't care what people think."

Tears filled Joshua's eyes as relief flooded his body. He believed him, he had no choice, the sincerity in his face was full of conviction. Strong, intuitive, caring and gentle. Seokmin was everything Jaehyun wasn't and he knew if he wanted to be happy it was time to stop self sabotaging. It was time to grow up and gave his feelings head on.

"I love you too. And I want to be with you, completely, with no secrets or deceptions. Just honesty."

The grin on Seokmin's face was broad and glowing as it lit up all the way to his sparkling eyes.

"No secrets? No hiding things and no faking feelings or lying?"  Joshua nodded at Seokmin's words. "Deal?" He asked tentatively as he held his hand out and met Seokmin's bright expression.

"It's a deal!" Seokmin replied. He grabbed for Joshua's hand but didn't shake it. Instead he fell down onto the bed and pulled Joshua on top of him. He clung tightly to the older man and nuzzled gently into his neck, enjoying the warmth and soft smell that was inherently Joshua. Finally a deal that would make them both happy.

It was an hour before they managed to untangle themselves from each other and get up. The freedom in honesty was fresh and exciting and neither could believe they could just touch and tease and kiss as much as they wanted. Finally, after a shared shower that took way too long, they dressed and headed out. "Can we call past my dorm?" Seokmin asked as they strolled hand in hand with no need to rush. "Of course," Joshua said. He silently hoped Seokmin's roommate wasn't home. The guy was terrifying. "Don't worry," Seokmin said as he rubbed his thumb soothingly across the back of Joshua's hand. "I'll clear everything up with Jihoon. He won't be home anyway." Joshua sighed with relief and wondered if Seokmin could read his mind.

When they reached the building they passed a few people in the hall. Joshua cowered a little but Seokmin just held his hand tighter and his head rose up a little prouder. "I'm not ashamed hyung," Seokmin said as he pulled Joshua closer. "You shouldn't be either. The only one who should be ashamed of himself is Jaehyun."

As they walked past a whispering pair of girls Joshua looked down again but Seokmin glared at them making them stop. They only just made it inside Seokmin's dorm before Joshua pushed him against the closing door and kissed the life out of him. "You're amazing," Joshua breathed against Seokmin's lips as he held tight to his waist and delved back inside his boyfriends mouth. The kiss was hungry and urgent, tinged with desperation, and their tongues moved frantically until it slowed into something more relaxed. "Thank you," Joshua whispered as they broke apart. "You didn't have to thank me..." Seokmin began but Joshua's lips cut him off again.

"What did you want to get?" he asked when they finally parted. "This..." Seokmin disappeared briefly before coming out of his room with his necklace held reverently in his hands. "Didn't feel right without it," he strung it around his neck and fixed it so the stones lay on the outside of his shirt. Then he reached into Joshua's shirt and fixed his too, placing it on the outside of his shirt so the pair of birthstones sat shining on top of Joshua's plain black tshirt.

"Perfect," Seokmin said as he placed a kiss on the end of Joshua's nose making the older flush bright pink. "Now let's go eat," he slung an arm around Joshua's shoulders and steered him out the door, "I'm starving."