And The Words We Couldn't Speak

10

"Um, Ray, do you have a camera?" I heard Frankie whisper. I opened my eyes, blinking a few times. Lying next to me was a sleeping Mikey. Frankie and Ray stood at the door. "Well, good morning, sunshine, "Frankie said, smirking at me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I looked at the clock. I blinked, disbelieving of the time.

"Ha, yeah, its 10:18, doll, "Ray said, laughing. I looked over at Mikey. I crawled off the bed and staggered over to my suitcase and pulled out the first pair of pants and shirt that I could find. I went into the bathroom and threw my clothes on. I washed my face and pulled my hair back with a headband. I went back into the room and put my clothes in the suitcase. I walked by Ray and Frankie who were laughing. Frank picked up a pillow off of the couch and launched it at Mikey.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" Mikey exclaimed. I went into the main room where Gerard and Bob and Phil were seated, discussing the plan. I sat on the end of the couch and pulled my legs up to my chest, resting my head on my knees. Gerard looked over and smiled at me. A few minutes later, Frankie and Ray were quite literally thrown from Mikey's room.

"Dude, he has no motherfucking sense of humor, "Frankie laughed, sitting on the back of the couch. "It seems you've made quite an impression on him, though, "he whispered in my ear. I looked over at him and he smirked. "Remember what I said yesterday though." He looked at Gerard and then back at me. "You sparked something. Don't fuck around with them." I nodded slowly. Mikey came out of the room, hair sticking up and no shirt. "Although it looks like it's a little late to say that for Michael, there, "Frankie said as he burst into laughter. Mikey pushed him backwards and he rolled off the couch.

"Dude, you look like you've been dragged through hell, "Gerard said, laughing at him. Mikey just looked at me and smiled. "Did you sleep long enough?"

"No, I could've slept longer if it were for the peeping toms right there. Y'all are dumbasses, by the way, "Mikey hissed. Gerard raised a brow at Ray and Frankie, who were rolling on the floor with laughter. I picked up a pillow and threw it at them.

"Well, you didn't have time to sleep any longer anyways. We gotta hit the road soon, "Phil said, folding up the map. Gerard suggested we just eat at the hotel, since we didn't have a lot of time. Frankie and Ray went to the store a couple blocks over to get stuff to make breakfast in the room. Bob decided he should go with them for protection. Phil went to give the other guys the game plan. Mikey went to shower and get dressed. That left me and Gerard alone in the main room, since we were both dressed and ready to go.

"So, "Gerard said randomly. I looked up at him. "How'd you sleep?" I thought about the fact that I slept in the arms of his brother, and I'd never felt safer. I finally wrote down my answer.

I slept okay. What about you? He smiled.

"Eh, I slept alright I guess. Thanks for asking, "He said, smiling at me. I nodded, and rubbed my arms in an attempt to gain feeling in them. They were numb. "Are you okay?" I nodded and yawned. "Well, what happened? Did Mikey keep you up all night talking?" I shook my head. About that time, Mikey came into the room.

"Dude, where the hell did everyone go?" He asked, looking around.

"Ray and Frankie went to get some stuff to make food, and Bob went with for protection. Then, Phil left to give the other guys the game plan. You were just in the shower, "Gerard pointed out. Mikey looked at him warily and then, he walked over and sat next to me. "Dude, what the fuck? I didn't fucking touch her."

"I didn't say that you did, "Mikey said, putting an arm around me. Gerard scoffed and stormed off to his room. I looked at Mikey who just looked down. He looked up at me after a minute and sighed. "Sometimes, things happen... I know that it's all in the past... But, I can't seem to trust him... I know he's a good person. I know he's changed... I fear a relapse though... Drugs and alcohol really fuck people up, Reese... You have no idea how hard it was for me to learn that..."I curled up next to him and he sighed again. I grabbed his hand and he smiled at me.

After a while, the guys came back, and when Mikey went to help them with breakfast, I snuck over to Gerard's room. I knocked on the door. No one responded. I cracked the door open and peaked inside. Gerard was sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard. He had his legs pulled up to his chest and his head was resting on his knees. I went inside, and shut the door behind me. When he didn't look up, I walked over and sat at the foot of his bed.

"I really fucked up, "He said, without even looking to see who it was. "I wish I could just erase the past... So much shit happened... I got way caught up in everything... I got really fucked up... I don't know what to do... My own brother fucking hates me... I wish I could just fucking fix everything..."I moved and sat next to him. "I don't know what to do, Reese. I really fucking don't..."I didn't know how to respond. He looked up at me. I felt a sharp sting when I saw the tears falling from his eyes. I gently wiped away a few tears before putting my head on his shoulder. He rested his head on mine, and we sat in a calm silence. What could he have done to cause so much trouble between him and Mikey?