And The Words We Couldn't Speak

40

I was sitting on the couch in the Panic tour bus with Ryan, Spencer, Jon, and Patrick. The Panic guys had been nice enough to let me stay with them until Mikey and I resolved our problems. It'd been about three weeks since I'd talked to him. Internet rumors about us getting a divorce spread quickly and I didn't know how to respond.

"Hey, stop thinking!" Patrick demanded, pretending to glare at me.

"Sorry, "I said as I forced a smile.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Ryan asked, looking at me.

"I don't care, "I said softly.

"Oh my god, this is bullshit!" Frank exclaimed as he slung open the door.

"Hey, Frankie, "I greeted shyly. He stormed in and grabbed my wrist. He pulled me out the door and down the row of buses. He pulled me into the MCR bus. Mikey was sitting on the couch, earphones in, drawing something.

"You two need to fucking talk!" He demanded. "You guys have done nothing but sulk since you two fucking had that fight! You two are going to fucking makeup now!" He stormed back out of the bus, slamming the door shut behind him.

"What the fuck was that?" He asked, looking up at me. I just shrugged.

"May I sit?" I asked quietly. He raised a brow and then nodded uncertainly. "He's right, in a sense... We do need to talk... It's been almost a month, Mikey... I really miss you..."

"I know..."He said quietly, turning off his iPod. He folding the cord neatly and closed the notebook he was drawing in before setting the headphones on it.

"I don't know how to go about this..."I said nervously. He eyed me suspiciously for a moment. I felt uncomfortable under his stare. "I should've told you... It happened before we got married, before we even dated... I don't remember exactly what happened, but... All I do know is that I feel really bad about it and I have since we did start dating... Then, when your mom was talking about how all the girls that you loved seemed to always fall for him, well, I felt even worse... I love you... I really do... I am so sorry for everything... That is why I told you that I really hoped you would still love me too... Mikey, please say something..."He looked down for a moment and then back into my eyes.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know... I know I hurt you. I know that... And I understand if you want to get a divorce..."I said quietly. He raised a brow and put a hand up.

"Wait, who told you that?" He asked.

"I don't know... This girl said she asked you about it and you said you hated my guts and want to leave me as soon as you can, "I said quietly.

"What, I never said that, "he said slowly. I looked up at him.

"Well, at the rate we were going, I didn't know..."I said quietly.

"Reese, "he said, kneeling in front of me. "I told you that I love you. You're everything to me." I looked back at my hands nervously. He grabbed my hands. "Yeah, I'll admit. I was really hurt... But, for the last three weeks, I've never been so alone. I love you, and I'll love that baby, even if she isn't really mine..."He lifted a hand to my face and kissed my cheek.

"We should go thank Frankie for his wonderful marriage counseling, "I laughed quietly. He nodded and pulled me up off of the couch. He took my hand and we left the bus. We just got to Frank when I felt a sharp stab in my stomach.

"Hey, did you two make up?" He laughed. I nodded, and placed a hand over my stomach. I felt a sudden wetness between my legs. "Ew, did you just piss?"

"Whoa, I think your water just broke..."Mikey said disbelievingly.

"Oh shit!" Frankie yelled. "Dude, let's fucking go!"