And The Words We Couldn't Speak

15

"You just talked..."He said again. I stared at him for a minute.

"I told you I love you, and you choose to mention that I talked?!" I cried quietly. He smiled at me.

"You love me..."He repeated to himself. I nodded. I grabbed his hand and he put his fingers in between mine. I played with his hands for a minute. He lifted my chin with his finger. I looked into his eyes, and he smiled. "I love you too." I smiled at him. "So... I think apologies are in order..."I raised a brow at him. "I acted like a total dick... I trust you... I just hated the idea of after everything I've done, he still gets the girl. Ya know?" I nodded sympathetically. "But, I feel considerably better knowing that you love me, "he said, smiling at me.

"Knock, knock, "a woman said, coming into the room. "Well, Mr. Way, it appears you can leave soon. It was just an asthma attack, but you'd better be careful of those, hun." I stifled a laugh and he poked me in the arm. She checked something, before telling me that she needed me to step out and that she'd get me when she was done. So, I sat outside the door, and Ray approached me.

"Someone's in a better mood, "he pointed out, sitting next to me. I nodded, and smiled. "So, is everything straightened out between you and him and Gerard?" I nodded again. "Well, I'm glad. You know, for all the trouble you've caused, I think you may have done a lot of good as well." I thought about that, nodding my head slowly. "Well, I heard that Gerard told you about why everyone doesn't really trust him, right?" I nodded, recalling our earlier conversation. "You don't need to be worried. That was a while back. I'm sure it won't ever happen again. That's why he's so leery of alcohol and drugs and everything. He fears that he'll relapse. I have faith in him though." I nodded, wondering if I should tell him about what Mikey and I talked about. I didn't get much of a chance, because Gerard came over and sat on the other side of me.

"Hey, did you get everything worked out with Mike?" Gerard asked, smoothing down a strand of my hair. I nodded, smiling at him. "Listen, I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what I was thinking, or if I even was thinking... You really love him, don't you?" I nodded slowly. He sighed and then smiled at me. "Well, he loves you too."

"I know, "I whispered. He and Ray stared at me.

"You know?" Ray asked cautiously, as if testing something. I nodded.

"You just spoke, "Gerard pointed out.

"Oh, thank God, I thought I was going crazy for a second, "Ray exclaimed. I shook my head, laughing quietly.

"No, I heard it too, "Gerard said, looking at me.

"You're both crazy, but yeah, I did speak, "I said quietly. To my ears, it sounded as if I was yelling. It almost scared me to speak, but I did, although I wondered how I did it.

"When the hell did you learn?" Gerard exclaimed. I shrugged and Ray shook his head.

"No, if you can talk, then please do so! This will be so much easier! Plus, I like your voice!" He said, smiling at me.

"Agreed, "Gerard said quietly. I smiled and the nurse came out, almost tripping over Ray.

"Well, Miss, you can go back in now, "she said after she regained her balance. Gerard jumped up and stuck his hand out to help me up. Ray stuck his hand out, but Gerard just walked past him. I rolled my eyes and helped him up.

"Hey, Mike..."Gerard said quietly, entering the room. Mikey tensed slightly, but I walked over and climbed onto the bed with him. He kissed my cheek and Gerard sat in the chair next to the bed.

"Mikey, he really needs to talk to you, "I whispered in his ear. He sighed and looked over at Gerard.

"Okay, what do you want?" He asked. I poked him lightly.

"Well, I wanted to apologize... I did want to kiss her, you were right about that. But it was me that wanted that, not her. I also wanted to thank you. I didn't take the time to think about all of the shit you did for me, Mikey. I love you, and I don't tell you anywhere near enough. You mean the world to me. I'm lucky to have a little brother who cares about me and puts up with all my shit like you do. If you hate me, I understand. I didn't do a thing in this world to give you an excuse not to, but I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for everything I put you through. I am sorry for not being there when you needed me, and I'm sorry for putting all of that pressure on you when my world was falling apart. I love you, little brother. I really do. And if I'm not too late in saying so, I really hope that you still love me too..."Gerard said, tears lining his eyes.

"Oh, Gee, "Mikey said quietly. "I don't hate you... You're my big brother, but in saying that... I am just really disappointed that I couldn't look up to you. I love you, Gee. You are my brother, and you always will be. No matter what shit you get into, I'll always have your back. That's what brothers do." I noticed Mikey's eyes filling with tears. I got off of the bed and Gerard got up and hugged him. I felt the tears sting my eyes.

"I love you, Mike, "he muttered to him.

"I love you too, Gee, "Mikey whispered back.