And The Words We Couldn't Speak

14

"Reese, "someone said, tapping me lightly. I looked up to see Gerard standing over me. I flinched and shrunk back against the couch. "Look, I know you're probably wondering a lot right now... I just need to talk to you..."I looked at him warily. I looked around, but there was no one else on the bus. I shook my head, and thought for a moment. Yes, he killed someone... But, Mikey also said he was changed... Then again, Mikey just totally flipped. "Please listen to me. I think now would probably be a good time to explain..."I gave him a weird look that said 'Do you really think so?' He sighed and sat on the other couch. "Look, I told you about my alcohol and drug problem... What he was talking about, about that girl... One night, I was really fucked up... There was this girl, and she was playing me, ya know? She was pretty much showing off what she wasn't putting out. I was just going to mess with her, but then, something came over me and I didn't stop. She kept fighting me, but instead of me just letting her go, I fought back. She pulled away and so I pushed her down and she fell and hit her head against the pavement. I didn't know exactly what to do, so I called the police, and then, when they took me in, I called Mikey. He came and got me out. Then, when it came time to go to court, he acted as my lawyer, and I got off on temporary insanity, and I got community service, and since the girl had no family, no one pressed charges. I was really lucky to have him, but that, Reese, is why he doesn't trust me." I stared blankly at him. "I'm not expecting you to welcome me with open arms, but I just wanted you to know that I wasn't lying to you..."

I stared at him before grabbing my pen and paper.

I want to go see him.

He blinked and then sighed. "Alright, "he said, as he got up and headed towards the door. We walked through the hospital and he led me to a room. Frank and Ray and Bob were just coming out when we got there.

"Reese wants to see him, "he said simply. I pushed past Frankie and closed the door behind me. I walked over and sat in the chair next to the bed. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"What do you want?" He hissed. I thought about running, but I forced myself to stay. I grabbed my pen and paper.

I really do care about you. Nothing happened with me and him. I don't feel for him the way I feel for you.

"Yeah, well, it sure as fuck didn't look like that when you were about to kiss him, "he muttered.

I wasn't going to kiss him!

"Bullshit, do you know how many times a girl has said that to me?" He cried. I sighed.

It's the truth. I don't know what was going on, but all I know is that I do not feel for him what I feel when I'm with you.

"Save it for someone who actually gives a shit, "he muttered.

I was hoping you did. You are the one who invited me to go with you. You took me in when I had nowhere else to go. It wasn't him. It was you.

"Well, apparently that doesn't mean anything to you, "he hissed.

That's where you're wrong! You mean everything to me!

"Well, lesson number one in life, if someone means everything to you, don't try and fucking kiss their brother, "he suggested sarcastically.

"I don't love him!" I cried. He stared at me, speechless. "I don't love him, "I said again. "I love you..."

"You just talked..."He muttered.