And The Words We Couldn't Speak

35

A woman in blue scrubs came out of the room. I stood and waited expectantly. She just stepped aside, and I went into the room. He was lying on the bed, IVs everywhere. The various beeps and clicks and machines pounded my ears. I walked over and sat next to him. His eyes were closed, and I wondered if he was dreaming and what it was about.

"Hey, Mikey, "I said quietly. "You really scared me...I just wanted to let you know I'm here. I just want you to be okay." I felt the tears prick my eyes. "You know, I don't know what I'd do without you. I really love you. And for all the shit we've been through together, I really think we're meant to be. I also wanted to tell you that whatever happens from now on out, I really hope you'll still love me too..."I held his hand softly, and happened to look at the bruise that was forming on my arm. I know he didn't do it purposely. It still frightened me.

"Why wouldn't I love you?" He whispered softly. "You're everything to me." I felt the tears burning my throat.

"I don't know... Um, it's probably just me overreacting or something..."I said quietly. He tried to prop himself up but failed. "Hey, don't move..."I said as I grabbed his hand. He grabbed my arm and ran a cool finger over the newly formed bruise.

"Did I do that?" He choked quietly.

"It's fine, "I said, tugging my sleeve down over it. He let go quickly. He put his hands over his face and took a shaky breath.

"It's not fine, "he muttered. I grabbed his hand, and slowly sat on the edge of the bed. I moved his other hand away from his face and he just gazed into my eyes. "I never meant to hurt you..."

"Oh, I've hurt you too..."I said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" He scoffed. "You never did anything..."

"Well, that whole thing with Gerard..."I said quietly.

"That was just a misunderstanding. It only happened once, right?" He said, tears forming behind his glasses. I bit my lip. I didn't want to tell him anything that would possibly fuck this up. Just before I could speak, a doctor walked in.

"Mr. Way, we ran some tests, "he said casually. "It appears that what happened was that you have diabetes. Your blood sugar dropped dangerously low. If you didn't get here when you did, it's very possible that you could've gone into a diabetic coma and never have come out. You need to take better care of yourself. I understand that being a rock star is demanding, but if you don't start gaining some control over this, it could be the death of you." I winced at the word 'death'.

"I have to get it under control. I have too much to live for, "he smiled as he squeezed my hand.