And The Words We Couldn't Speak

31

I walked inside to grab my purse. They all looked at me expectantly. I just shrugged, picking up my jacket. Gerard grabbed my arm.

"Where are you going?" He asked nervously. I pointed towards the door. "You're actually going with him?" I nodded, walking past him.

"Well, if he acts up, I'll kick his ass, "Ray called. I nodded, hugging him before going out the front door. He looked up and smiled at me. He grabbed my hand and walked me to the car, opening the door for me. I got inside and he shut it. I waited for a couple minutes and then, he finally got in the car.

When we got home, Nancy hugged me tightly.

"I was beginning to think that you weren't coming back, "she said softly, glaring at her younger son.

"Oh, even if I didn't come back with him, I would've come back with Gerard, I'm almost certain, "I smiled. She smiled thoughtfully before muttering something about having to go the kitchen. I went up the stairs and down the hall into Mikey's room. He closed the door behind him and smiled at me. I sat on the bed and he got on his knees in front of me. I had to ask him something right then.

"Mikey, I'm going to ask you something, and you have to be honest..."I said quietly.

"Okay, you can ask me anything, "he said eagerly.

"Why did you do it?" I asked, knowing damn well that he knew exactly what I was talking about. He sighed and looked nervously at his hands. "Don't lie to me." He sighed again and looked into my eyes. I saw nothing but regret and pain in them.

"I don't know. I guess because I'm stupid... At some point during the show, realization hit me and I freaked. I'm going to be a dad... And, not only that, but I'm married to someone who literally just turned eighteen a few months ago. I don't know exactly why, but that suddenly terrified me. Then, that girl happened to appear and she told me that she'd help me forget about it for a while... I caved. That's simply it. I caved..."He said quietly.

"You don't want to be married and have a kid..."I asked quietly.

"No!" He exclaimed. "No, I meant that it just occurred to me how real this is..."I nodded slowly. I lied back on the bed and he sat next to me. He put a hand on my stomach and I felt a tiny flutter in my heart.

"The doctor lady told me that I was too young... That she would have killed her daughter if this had happened... Your mom got pissed and chewed her out, "I said, laughing quietly.

"Way to go, Mom, "he laughed.

"Yeah, it's nice having someone who's ready to go to bat for you, "I said quietly.

"The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do want to be a dad, even though the idea of a kid turning out like me honestly scares the shit out of me, "he said quietly.

"I know, but it won't be all bad, "I said, sitting up. "For what it's worth, I think you'll be a great dad."

"It's worth a lot, "he said, kissing me softly.