a lie she told in spring | ATEEZ ff

Chapter Twenty-Five

//shattered glass

Brown. Light brown. Dark brown.

His hair was covered in different shades of brown, I noticed while playing around with his hair. He had his eyes closed as he rested his head on my lap.

"San...Eonnie told me, that your mother's birthday was upcoming...", my voice was a mere whisper. He slowly opened his eyes and locked his eyes with mine. Whenever he looked at me it felt like the world had stopped. It felt as if he was looking right in my soul and I felt naked but safe. "I mean I won't be here but...", he raised his eyebrow, awaiting my next words. "You should visit her." "I'm not going back to that place." "You mean that place you once called home?" He lifted himself off my and was now seated in front of me on the bed. Music was playing softly in the back. "Exactly, that place that I used to call my home." I looked down at my fingers. I couldn't stand seeing him have such a bad relationship with his parents. It was unfair since I was glad to have such a healthy one. San moved closer and took both of my hands into his. "Kiku, look at me. I'm fine the way my life is. I can take care of myself.", I still didn't lookup. "I can't go back there just to see my mum in the disaster of a marriage. Waiting for a father that maybe this time will come home and that sober." Tears welled up. I knew that San hadn't had the best childhood, I knew I shouldn't bother him too much but I couldn't help myself. "He's been an alcoholic for 28 years and nothing will change that." he pulled me onto his lap and I leaned into a soft kiss. "San, I will love you the way you deserve. You are so special. So precious. So handsome.  Absolutely stunning. If I ever see Ji Mari who dared to call you a creep and make your self-esteem lower, I'll rip all her hair out." San let out a chuckle as he caressed my cheek with his thumb. "Do whatever you like, but don't hurt yourself.", I wrapped my arms around him as I rested my head on his shoulder. "They made noona run away from home..." I wouldn't have heard it if I wasn't seated on him.  "She was the only one who kept me sane in that household." I lifted my head and he caressed my hair. "What time was your flight again?" "10.50 am, we're leaving by 8.30 am." A knock interrupted us and when I opened my room's door, I was met with Wooyoungs grinning face. "Youngie! What are you doing here!" I engulfed him in a hug. "Before you leave, I thought we should have the last evening together this year, don't you think?" After San and Wooyoung greeted each other,  Wooyoung and I made our way towards the kitchen to get some snacks while San set up everything in the living room. "So you and San, huh?" "Yeah... not quite sure how exactly it happened but it just happened" I chuckled while grabbing some glasses from the cupboard. "Are you guys in love?", I turned to him facing him with my body. "You know, everyone's definition of love is different.", Wooyoung nodded. "Whenever I see him there's like excitement building up with me. My heart starts to beat faster and he makes me feel like I'm the only girl out here. I feel safe and I feel loved." I put the glasses on a tray along with some iced tea. "I shouldn't be telling you this", I chuckled. "But just to be honest. When he kisses me, when his lips touch my skin and his hands roam around my body, it feels like the whole world stopped just for the two of us. When he's hurt, I feel like my whole world just shattered. My heart aches when I see tears fall down his cheeks. And Wooyoung if that ain't love, then no I do not love him. But it is my definition of love, so to answer your question. I'm head over heels for San and nothing will change that so quickly.", as I answered him,  I did not know what impact my words had. That they just shattered the innocent heart of my very first friend in this new chapter of my life. As if someone purposely threw down a glass, to make it shatter. 

{not proof-read}