After hours

Chapter Twelve

"There's my girl." Patrick beamed when he spotted me at the airport. I forced a smile and let him kiss me hello, in the kiss he picked me up and spun me. "I've missed you." He whined and kissed me again.

"Patrick." I said softly as my feet found the ground again.

"I know."

"No, I mean-"

"I know."

I frowned deeply. This had been going on long enough, I had tried time and time again to tell Patrick. It'd been almost two months, the building was half way built for Christ sake! I had to do this! I guess when he came into my apartment and saw the box of stuff packed he'd probably catch on. It was a coward's way out, but it would have to do.

It wasn't right to just spring it the moment he stepped off the plane anyway. No, that would be just cruel. I would wait until we got back to my apartment.

Of course Patrick wanted to do everything under the sun before we made it back to my shitty little apartment. We went to the gym, we went to the an astounding amount of stores where I had to fake period cramps to talk him out of forcing me to try on a ton of clothes that I really really did not want him to buy for me, and we made a painful visit to my mother's house, who was of course thrilled to see Patrick and scolded me on my hair style.

When we finally made it to my shitty little apartment I was exhausted. So exhausted from dealing with my mother that I forgot that I had even left the box of stuff out on my coffee table. I had since decided it would be rude to tell him before dinner, I didn't want to spoil his meal. But I would definitely tell him after.

"Now I've finally got you all to myself." He grinned from ear to ear as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Patrick." I put my hand on his chest to stop him. "Cramps." I lied.

He looked at me and then to the box on the coffee table, right front and center in the middle of the room with gifts spilling out of it. "We have dinner reservations." He said flatly and then he disappeared into the shower.

Great, now I had ruined his dinner and I got the vibe that we would not be talking about this tonight.

**

"So tell me Ryan." Patrick said as we drove to restaurant.

He had been completely silent since he had seen the box of stuff. The only comment he had made since was a curt compliment on my dress. The tension could be cut with a knife. I was so startled to hear him talking that it actually made me jump.

"Was this some sort of business deal then?"

"What?" I turned to face him but he was still facing the road and speaking in a perfectly even voice. I knew that was a bad sign. Patrick wore his feelings very openly, the ones that were hidden were often even too extreme for even him to handle.

"Well the building is halfway over now. You must figure by this point we've put too much into it that we don't want to pull out now so we're stuck. You don't have to pretend-" His grip on the steering wheel felt eerily similar to the one he had on my heart at this moment. Too tight, his knuckles were white, I couldn't breathe.

"Patrick I'm not. I never pretended. I do love you it's just-"

He pulled in front of the restaurant. "Is there someone else?" The question I had both dreaded, and prayed he would ask.

Of course I dreaded it because the admittance that I had wronged him and wronged Victoria hurt. It hurt me, it hurt Daniel, and I knew it was going to hurt Patrick. I dreaded it to see the look on his face, pained and confused. All the questions I would see in his eyes. I didn't want to have to have this conversation. Confirm his fears, crush him.