After hours

Chapter Fifteen

It had been three weeks since Daniel told me he loved me.

Let me rephrase that. It had been three weeks since my boss told me he loved me.

No, sorry, let me rephrase that one more time. It had been three weeks since my married boss had told me he loved me.

I had to admit. I was in a funk.

I thought back to the time before I had slept with Daniel and I had accidentally told him I loved him right before hanging up the phone. Why was it something so easy to do then, but so difficult to do now?

Probably because I didn't love him then. And I knew I did now.

Love changes the dynamic of a relationship though. I couldn't stop thinking where things were going. If I told Daniel I loved him what then? Did he leave his wife and we could be together? No. I didn't want to be a home wrecker.

Except I already was.

If I told him I loved him and things continued just the way they are now, well fuck that. I wasn't going to be in love with someone who wouldn't even be with me!

Except I already was.

I threw my head back and groaned loudly and a number of eyes immediately turned to me. "I, uh. Messed up...this...thing." I muttered and ducked my head back behind my computer. I was such a spaz. How could anyone love me? Yeesh.

They say the first cut is the deepest. So once I said it, I'm sure I would be fine. It's just getting it out in the first place. I'd told Johnny Jenkins I loved him and look how well that turned out? I rolled my eyes. I'd told Patrick I loved him too. But that hardly counted because I said it mid-sexual encounter, and like I said, once you say it once you can keep saying it without fail. I hadn't even mean to say I love you with Patrick the first time. I had meant to say 'I love what you're doing' and 'you are amazing' and my words got all caught and jumbled and came out wrong. I got so caught up in the moment, in between incoherent tongues and gasped I'd just blurted it out. He had said it back and it seemed like it would have been rude to take it back, so I left it go. And oddly, after I had accidentally said it, the purposeful saying came easily.

Maybe I should try that with Daniel? No, no, that would bring us back to the problem of not wanting to love him. Oh the decisions.

I glanced to the time on the corner of my computer. Only two more hours and our work day would be over and we would be headed back to my place. I suppressed another groan. I feel like it's all he said anymore. I mean, I get it, you love me, great! But the pressure to say it back was astounding!

We'd stumbled backwards through the door and fell onto the couch. He broke the kiss abruptly. "I love you Ryan." And then he waited and watched.

No pressure. Rather than answer I tore at his shirt, sending buttons across the room and pulled him back into another kiss.

He broke the kiss again. "I got something for you."

"O-okay." I stammered. He didn't give me things often. I could sum up the things he got me in three categories. Food, drinks, and orgasms. He gave lots of those three things, I was a simple girl, I didn't ask for much you know. I glanced behind us to where we had left our door hanging wide open and Mrs. Geno was standing in the hallway with her four children staring at us.

Daniel followed my gaze and I watched as he got pink all the way from his bare chest and up to the tip of his ears.

I resituated my top as he stood up and awkwardly shut the door with them still standing in the hallway staring at us. He turned back to me and we both burst into a fit of laughter.