After hours

Chapter Seventeen

When I woke up, I didn't have to roll over to know that Daniel was still beside me. His arm was lazily draped over my waist, his body was radiating heat, and he was snoring softly. For a moment, I thought surely I was going to puke. I was such a fool. I had about as much pride as a dog begging for scraps.

I rolled over to face Daniel and watched him sleep. His lips were parted and when he exhaled they appeared to pout slightly. Surely, he had only stayed because he felt bad for me. I felt bad for me. I made a complete idiot out of myself.

Admitting how much I needed Daniel was like admitting defeat. I didn't handle defeat all too well. This is exactly why I didn't do relationships. In a relationship someone always had the upper hand. Daniel had the upper hand now because he knew that I couldn't be without him.

I tried to slowly remove his arm without waking him. I thought I had succeeded when he sucked in loudly with a snort and rolled over but seconds later he rolled back to face me and his eyes fluttered open. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and smucked his lips together. "What? What is it?" He grumbled.

I sat up. "Nothing. I just, uh, have to go to the bathroom."

"You're a terrible liar." He yawned and closed his eyes again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Daniel I just-"

"Just what?"

"This is still. So...so..."

"Good." He finished for me and pulled me back down onto the bed.

I laughed as he rolled over to be on top of me. "That's not what I was going to say."

"Oh?" He yawned again this time breathing it directly onto my face. His breath wasn't too pleasant either. More reasons why relationships didn't suit me. "What were you going to say Ryan?"

My heart fluttered and I frowned. Okay, so that was one of the reasons people stayed in relationships. Just to hear my name leave his mouth made me giddy as a school girl. "I just, I'm not a relationship person." I admitted.

"I know that."

"I just hate the feeling that someone has the upper hand over me." I muttered and his brows furrowed.

"What?"

"I don't want to fight over control or anything. It's just, I'm always used to being the one who had it."

He sat up on top of me. He seemed to be waking up now. "Ryan haven't you ever been in a relationship before?"

"Of course I have." I rolled my eyes. "I've dated, I've just never been all that serious. I mean, I'm pretty set in my ways and other people coming along and trying to change-"

His lips were on mine, silencing me suddenly. He pulled away only inches. "If it was just a power struggle then you were in the wrong sort of relationship. What about Patrick, he's the one who always decided what you would do and when?"

"But that was different. That was..." I swallowed hard. This sounded like such an awful thing to say. "Temporary."

His brows shot up and he climbed off of me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I just knew he wasn't going to live here and everything. I figured we were more of a...fling...that it would end when he left...but then it didn't and we fell in love I guess and then-"

"And then me."

"And then you." I agreed with a slight nod. "I just always sort of gravitated towards people that-" I stopped abruptly.

"That what Ryan?"

"Nothing."

"Just tell me." He sounded annoyed and it made me worry again that he was going to leave.