Tattoo

Chapter 22

I wish I could run away. But I can't. I'd hurt too many people. I know I've said that I'll learn how to love Erik. The original plan was: let Marco be and end up with Erik. I'll never be able to love Erik as much as I love Marco, but he would never hurt me. But the original plan is disrupted by another plan. The other plan is to move away. Munich. London. Odense. Wherever, just to get away from these problems. My mother and I have still a flat in London. There has to be backdoor if anything would happen. I heared the front door being closed. Mom. "Mom!" I yelled, hugged her and the tears were making their way down my cheeks. "Lucy? What happened? Why are you crying? Oh, Marco or Erik? What has any of them done?!" she spilled out the questions. "Mom, it's so difficult." I said and sobbed.

.....

I told my mom everything, even about the plan. "No! No Lucy! You can't move away! You have nonreason to do it!" she said. This is gonna be hard. "Then I need to get out! For a week! Mom, you know this feeling. Being confused and unsure even about choosing between cakes." I said and sobbed. She caressed my cheek. "I know baby, but running away is not the solution."she said and smiled sadly. She's right I can't run away. I just have to face it. "Okey then. I won't go away. But I won't talk to any of them." I said. "How are you imagining it? Erik knows where you live, you should meet in an hour and you live in the same city. He'll come."she said. "I know, I know he will. But you'll tell him I can't meet him. Please." I said. She shook her head. "Lucy, he doesn't deserve it."she said. The emotions which have been in my chest for some time made their way outside. "And me?! Do I deserve it? I don't wanna hurt him! Nor Marco! But all that my stupid life has been doing is hurting me! I don't have fatherm my first boyfriend was jerk, Marco dissapointed me and Erik loves me! I feel like the life's been playing a game eith me the whole time! Do I deserve it?" I screamed while crying. Mom was coming closer. "No!" I said and ran to my bedroom. "Lucy open up!"my mom screamed. She was knocking on the door the whole time. "No! Mum go away!" I said. I heared that after she had sighed she left.
3 hours after

I've been sitting on my bed for the past 3 hours. It's 20 o'clock. "Lucy, baby, open the door please." my mom said. "Mom you're wasting your time. I won't open the door. You would be scared of how do I look." I said. Mom sighed and knocked again. "Lucy, I've already seen your red fave and puffy eyes. Open!"she said. "Mom, please let it be. You'll see me tomorrow morning." I said. She knocked again. She's driving me crazy by knocking at the stupid door. "It's not just me who wants to see you. Erik's here." she said. What? Normally I'd get angry, but now? I have no energy for it. I feel like I'm crazy. "Lucy, please open the door. We're worried about you." Erik said. "Don't worry, I'm fine." I said with a broken voice. He sighed. "No, you're not. We can hear it by your voice. Open p, baby, please open!" he said. Again, thah sweet 'baby' again. There's no reason for not believing him, when he's saying that he loves me. "No! Go away! Dissapear! My life is a mess!And you don't need to be included in it!" I said. "Okey! I'll be downstairs!" my mom said and left. Finally! "Lucy I'm still here. I won't leave. Lucy, if you care about me just a little open the door." he said. "You don't even know how much I care about you! To top it all I would scare you off by my look."I told him. He chuckled. "If this is the thing that is in your mind then don't worry. I've already seen you crying and drunk. Lucy, you're hurting me. Please. Open up." he said. No! There's no way I'll open the door. I put my head on the pillow, hoping that I'll fall asleep really quick.