Tattoo

Chapter 18

I have woken up abosutely depressed and sick of my life. After what had Erik told me yesterday, I went home and buried my head in the pillow and cried myself to sleep. I'm still replaying yesterday in my mind. How Marco told me that he is not gonna take that decision from me, then he kissed me, told me that he loves me and left. How Erik has told me all the sweet things, what he loves about me. But I can't figure out my stupid feelings. I called with my mom earlier and she told me that if she could, she would come back home at once. Oh, what a help mother! It would be even worse, she wouldn't stop with saying that she's sorry and that it's just my decision. I'm better alone. My phone has been ringing almost all the time since yesterday. One time it's Erik, the second time it's Marco. There's a really beautiful sentence that the heart wants what it wants, but I can't found out what the hell my heart wants, which one of them. I don't wanna get hurt, but most of all I don't wanna hurt Erik nor Marco. I'm studying psychology, but right now one psychologist would be useful for me. I had relized that I'm crying again, so I went upstairs, made a little makeup, dressed up and put my hair into ponnytail. I went to the hall, grabbed my jacket, purse and went for a coffee. I've decided walking, some fresh air will maybe help me. I'm not going into the café where I met Marco. I don't dare to go there. What id I would meet him? No! I can't think like this because I would get crazy sooner or later. I was walking around the café where we first met when it's started raining. Seriously?! There is definitelly somebody up there, who's playing with me! And the freak up there wants to drive me crazy! I had no choice, I had to get in the café wheter I like it or not. I walked to the cashier and there was a blond guy waiting for me. He was smirking at me and I was just like what? What does he want? Idiot! "Hi beauty, what will you have?" he asked me. Beauty? Really? I decided that I'll ignore it. If I would think about every single thing, I would end in a hospital. "Ciao, one black coffee please. Extra strong." I said. I don't even know why I greeted with ciao, I just wanted to make fun of him. "Oh, slow down lady. Your heart is going to break." he said and winked. "Oh you don't even know how my heart is broken." I said, feeling like something is stuck in my throat. "Who broke your heart? Tell me and I'm gonna punch him."he said. Oh God, he is so annoying. "Oh, I'm sure you know him. Don't worry, I'll deal with it by myself." I said and winked. "I could make it up." he said and tried to be charming. I grabbed me coffee and he gave me a paper. I read it and there was his number and name. Jake. "Well Jake, if I would like to date a monkey, I would go to the zoo and adopt one. No, thanks." I said and threw the paper into his face. I gave him the money and went to sit down. It looked like it's never gonna stop raining. The door were opened like by hurricane. I saw Marco, Erik, Mats, the 2nd goalkeeper of bvb and Aubameyang. I grabbed the menu and hide my face with it. Crap it all! First of all the rain, then the stupid guy and now? Now both of them are here. I felt cold and then it came. I sneezed and every single person looked in my direction. I noticed Erik and Marco looking at me too. I saw the sadness on Marco's face and Erik's hurtful look. This is exactly what I've never ment to do. Hurt any of them. They stopped looking at me. Fine, they're angry with me. But then my phone rang. A text came into it. I opened it and read it 'You don't even know how happy I am that I can see you. Even if I can't talk to you, because you don't wanna talk, the sight of you is priceless. Marco' . I looked at him and he smiled. After that he looked away, probably listening to what are the others saying. I don't even know how to name the feeling in my chest. My mobile rang again. Next text saying 'You don't even know how lost I feel without talking to you or seeing you. I miss you. Erik'. After I had read it, I looked at him. He was looking at me, a sad smile on his face. But then also Marco looked at me. I culdn't hold the emotions in me anymore. I immediately started crying. I didn't even bother to take the coffee with me, I just stood up and went away. I don't care that it's raining, I just need to get as far from them as possible. "Lucyyyy! Luuuuuc!" is all I can hear. I can't turn around, my heart would burst. I came home. I am wet like I was swimming in my clothes. I changed into new clothes and made a tea. The last thing I need is to get a cold.
Erik's POV

The way she looked was terrible. She looked so extremly broken and her eyes were red. I bet she has been crying the whole night. When both of us has looked at her, she started crying. I hate the sight. It's my fault. If I wouldn't have told her what I feel, she could be happy. I wouldn't be happy, because holding the feelings inside of me was terrible, but if it meant that she would be happy, I would hold them. But I didn't, I told her and I can't take it back. I want her to be happy. If she would be with me, I would make her the happiest woman around the world.
Marco's POV

She looked so bad. I didn't see the sparkle in her eyes and the smile? Her smile was nowhere to be seen. After we both had looked at her, she run away. She left her coffee there and left. Me and Erik went after her, but she was far away. We were screaming her name, but she didn't turn around. She just kept running away. We came back and sat down. A waiter came. We all looked at him, confused what could he want. "Sorry guys, do you know what happened to that girl? The one with the green eyes and brown hair." he asked. None of us has told anything. "She was wearing black jeans and black jacket. Do you know which one I mean? She stormed out of here like a hurricane." he said. "We know who you mean. What do you want with her?" I asked curious. "Well I gave her my phone number earlier and she gave it back to me saying if she wanted to date a monkey she would go to the zoo. I wanted to try again."he said. I couldn't help but laught. Everyone at our table was laughting. "Look guys, she herself told me that she's broken, so I just wanted to try. Have you seen her? She is s beautiful!"he said happily. "Wait what? What has she told you? That she us broken?" Erik asked him. "She told me that somebody has broken her heart and that I don't even know how much it's broken. Why? Do you know that jerk that has broken her heart?" he asked. I looked at Erik and he returned me the look. "Look you playboy, keep your hands away from her! If you won't I'm gonna break your face and you'll never be playboy again!" I told him. I couldn't listen to him anymore. But what makes me feel horrible is the thing that she admitted that she's broken. It looks like she has no energy to deny it.