Tattoo

Chapter 25

I woke up and turned around to see Erik asleep. Yeah, we slept in one bed. I wanted to sleep alone, but when I told him, he became sad. So I decided that he can sleep next to me. It's 8 o'clock, so there could be news about Marco. I got up, went to the bathroom, changed into what I wore yesterday and went to the kitchen. I opened the twitter and saw it. Lateral ankle ligament rupture, won't play til the end of this year. I then opened a pic where Marco was leaving the hospital with crutches. My heart started to beat faster. I bet that I'm pale as a white wall. I felt arms around my waist. Keep it cool Lucy. "Hello." Erik said with a raspy voice. I turned around and faked a smile. "Hey."I said with a shaky voice. He was about to kiss me on the lips when I turned my head so his lips landed on my cheek. He kissed it and looked surprised. My feelings are so messed up. I can't even - I can't even say why has this stupid idea of learning how to love Erik crossed my mind. I cleared my throat and looked at him. "Um, what will you have for breakfast?" I asked. "Nothing. I'm not hungry." he said and turned around and went to the living room. Okey, he has noticed that something is wrong. I came to the living room too. "What's wrong?" I asked. He looked at me and an ironical laught left his mouth. "What's wrong? Nothing. I just wanted to kiss you, but you turned your head." he said with a hurtful look. I looked down and sighed. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." I said, feeling sorry that Erik is included in my mess. "Lucy, what has happened?" he asked looking at me. "Nothing. I've just read Marco's diagnosis and I feel sorry for him. I mean, he'll play in January. Not earlier." I said. He sihpghed and looked like he has something to tell me. "Lucy, about football... We're playing on Wednesday." he said. Okay? And what am I supposed to do with that? "Um, great?" I said fully confused. "Yeah, but we're playing in London. So leaving on Tuesday, coming back on Thursday." he said. Yeah, great. I haven't wanted my heart to be in pain again, yet my way has crossed footballer's way. I feel like my life is a shit and everybody is just bringing me more shit into it. I stood up, went to his room and grabbed my handbag. When I was leaving the room, he was standing at the doorway. "Lucy, I'm sorry that I have to leave. But it's my job." he said and held me by my waist. I got out of his hold and went to the front door. "Shit, my phone's in the kitchen." I exclaimed. I ran to the kitchen, grabbed the phone and went to the front door again. But Erik was standing there. "You're not going away. Lucy we need to talk first." he said. I laughted ironically and looked at him feeling the anger in my veins. "We're not gonna talk. I wanna leave." I said. "No no no. Lucy, you're overreacting." he said. What? Is he kidding me or what the hell? Is here a hidden camera? "What? Even if I am, so what? I can do whatever I want to do. I am 20 years old and free, there's nobody in this world telling me what can I do." I exclaimed. "Free? What about the kissed, huh?" he asked. No, I can' tell him about that plan. "Listen up you little football player! The only thing I've ever wanted to be is happy! Yet my life has crossed my way with Marco's! I thought that I'll be happy, No! I thought wrong. Then my life has crossed my way with yours! I thought I can be finally happy, No! You're leaving! Everybody in my life is leaving! My dad left me and my mom when I was 3! When I was freaking 3 years old! My ex was cheating on me! Gosh! My mum is away most of the time! Being away is what tore me and Marco apart! You're leaving too!" I yelled. He was quiet and he looked subsumed. "I guess that I have to live with it! Being alone and unhappy!" I said and was about to leave when he grabbed my hand. "Lucy, it's not like I want to leave you, I have to go! It's my job. And how do you wanna leave?  Your car is at the Signal Iduna." he said. Oh so he cares about how will I leave?! "Don't worry, I'll manage to get my shit there!" I said feeling my heart is aching once again. "Forget that you've ever met me. I'm trouble and trouble and a football player who is barely at home doesn't fit together." I said and left.

.....

A cab gave me a lift in front of the Signal Iduna. I drove off and now I am in front of my house. I guess that mom will be awake, so I rang the door-bell. She opened the door and looked surprised. "Where's Erik?" she asked. Oh good morning to you too mom, thanks I am fine and you? "He'll be leaving. Like everybody in my life."I said frustrated. I walked into the kitchen and sat down. "What do you mean by he'll be leaving and what do you mean by everybody in your life is leaving?" she asked. And she shouldn't have asked. "What do I mean by it? I thought that we'll be a couple and we'll be happy. I thought that I deserve to be happy, but I clearly don't! Everybody's leaving! My so called dad left us when I was 3! When I was a little cute baby! My ex was cheating on me! What a jerk! You are away most of the time! Me and Marco, we're apart because he is still away! And that one? Erik? He has just told me he'll be leaving on Tuesday and will come back on Thursday! Mom don't I deserve to be happy?" I screamed and tears were falling down. "First of all, your dad is a jerk. He's stupid by leaving us, especially you! Cause you're so perfect and I'm so proud of you. Your ex is idiot! He was looking for one night stands. Erik and Marco leaving, it's their job sweetie. They have to play away too. And me? I am leaving because of my job. If I am without a job, we would be without money. Honey I'm so sorry that you feel this way." she said and hugged me. "Now, about Erik, what have you told him? Exactly." she said. I told her everything, from the moment I woke up to the moment I left. "You told him to forget you? Lucy!" she said. "Yeah, I did! It will be better! I won't be with him! I don't love him, I love Marco! But I have to forget both of them! For my hapiness, I have to!" I said feeling strange. Strange about saying that I don't love Erik, but I love Marco. "Honey, you love Marco. You won't be able to cope with being without him!"she told me. "I'll have to. Mom, I have school. I have to focus! And that's all that matters to me! School!" I said feeling my eyes are covered with water. "Don't say it!If you love him, tell him. Lucy I am sure that he'd call you every minute if you forgive him." she said. Yeah, I know. I'm just roo scared to start a relationship. "He won't play til 2015." I told her. She covered her mouth and looked shocked. "Lucy, he needs you. He does." mom told me. "Okay, enough. I'll go upstairs and study a bit. If Erik would arrive tell him to leave."I said and stood up. "But.." but I cut her off. "Mom. Please."I said and left.

.....

I know everything. The whole textbook for tomorrow. I think I should call Marco. To let him know that if he needs something, I am here. I dialed the number and waited for answer. "Yes?" Marco answered. His voice. "Hi. It's me- Lucy. How are you? I just wanted to tell you that if you need anything, you can call me."I spoke slowly and unsure. "Um, I don't need anything. It's fine." he said. Ouch. "Okey, but you might in the future. Um, could I visit you?" I asked. "I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, I don't want you to come. Look, I have to go, so bye." he said and hung up. I started crying so hard that my mom came upstairs. "Lucy! Oh God! What has happened?"she asked. I sobbed feeling the pain in my stomach, in my heart and even in my heart. "M-mom, he doe-doesn't wanna see me. H-he told me not to come, b-bec-because he doesn't want m-me to come. M-mom it was a lie! He-he doesn't love m-me!" I said and mom understood who I am talking about. "Baby it's just a huge misunderstanding. Are you sure he said this?" she asked. "Fuck! I am sure as hell mom!" I screamed, feeling the urge to punch something. "Lucy, it'll be okay. Please, stop crying or yoyr heart is gonna break. Please." she told me. I feel like a mess. Amd everybody is digging in me. Like I am a stupid football ball. Oh God! Football again! I wish I could change everything!
Marco's POV

I threw the phonw on the couch next to me. "You know that you've just lost the biggest motivation to be fit again, right?" Marcel asked me. "I don't wanna mix her into this shit. It's my problem that I can't walk! She would be frustrated if she must look after me." I said. I told her that I don't want her to come, cause I don't need her. Lie! She's like everything to me. I hurt her by not taking our relationship seriously and now? I told her I don't need her. "You'll regret this. Do you know how she probably feels? You need her." Marcel said again. "I know! Okay?! I know that I need her! She doesn't deserve this! To look after me!" I screamed. "She would probably love to look after you, it would bring you two closer."he said. Idiot! Why is he making it even worse? "Believe me, she hates me! I hurt her! She's closer to that Erik! Maybe she even loves him!" I yelled at Marcel. "She doesn't love him. If she would, she wouldn't have called. She wouldn't care! When you make up your mind, call her and apologize! I'll be back soon. Bye!" he said and shut the door behind him. Great! But wait.. She wouldn't have called. I need her. More then anything.
Erik's POV

I lobe her. I hurt her and I promsied I will never do that. She hates me now. But I won't give up. I love her.