Ordinary Life

20

Today's song is "Think About It" by American Authors. Sorry this chapter is short. See you soon. ❤
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"I can't do this, Jamie!" A loud sob comes from my throat as I'm perched on my hotel bed.

"Yes, yes you can! You've done it before and you can do it now, for the second time." He is crouched in front of me: his hand tightly gripping mine. I've failed again. All I ever do is fail and fuck up. It's the complete story of my life.

"I can't! And before you fucking say 'can't isn't a word', it is. How am I meant to bring up a second child on my own? I might as well go and ask Matt how he single handily brought up April." My lungs fail me so I stop, and take a breath, "This is karma, complete and utter karma. I did it to Matt, I left him all alone to bring up April, and now Jack's doing it to me with this thing." I've fucked up big time. Within that instant he pulls me ever so close. "Get off! I told you earlier husbands don't pull their best friends into their laps as they have a wife." I try to shrug him away, but he doesn't budge.

"I'm going nowhere. I'm here to stay." Jamie holds my arms tightly so I can't suddenly pull away. "Don't resist it. At the moment you need comfort, friendly comfort." At the moment, I need to die. At the moment, I need to not exist.

"No, at the moment I need to pack my bags and leave. I'm going home." I stand up strongly and walk over to the hotel wardrobe to drag out my suitcase and clothes. I need to run. I know how to run. It's all I know how to do.

"You're going nowhere as I don't believe you would actually go home.
You'd runaway again, making things worse and causing me to lose my best friend." Dornan picks me up from behind: dragging me away from the wardrobe. "Now you listen to me, or so help me it won't be Jack who's the only one that's going to be killed. Have you not learned your lesson from before? You have runaway two times now. The first one as you did something that every fourteen year old girl could relate to. Why did you run? You were scared it would come back and you would never get over it. What happened? You runaway to some idiot that you met through a friend, and broke your heart before arranging to get married, becoming pregnant and tuning away again." He fumes up like a kettle that is boiling. "But this time you run over to Ireland where you met me and Jack: moving to London after a few months of being in Holywood. Where has that gotten you? That has gotten you heartbroken time and time again but your douche of a so called boyfriend, and pregnant once again. The only thing good to come out of you running away for the second time is me meeting you which I'm starting to think you don't appreciate anymore." Fifty shouts scaring me more than I have ever been before in my entire life. I do appreciate you Jamie, I really do. I adore you, but you're married, and can do so much better.

"Third time lucky." A snicker appears from my throat as I pull away from my now scary "best friend", and grab for my suitcase.

"Are you not listening to a word I say, Olivia? What on earth do I have to do to make you bloody listen to me? If you runaway again you are going to go around in a massive circle. Meet someone, fall pregnant, get heartbroken and leave once more before repeating the process. Do you not understand that you are not only hurting yourself, but the people who care for you?!" He throws my suitcase against the wallpapered wall: leaving a dent as I practically see steam coming from his head.

"Don't fucking shout at me or throw my suitcase! I'm the victim here. Not you! Why shouldn't I go? You wouldn't give two fucks if I was here or not. You're not my parents." I fiercely croak at him.

"What's going on in here?" Amelia enters. "The whole hotel can hear you Jamie." She sighs: seeing me, and rolling her eyes.

"And now your wife is here to join in. I know Amelia can't stand me, but I adore her as I know she loves you. But in a way I hate her-" Jamie then pushes me against the wall in complete anger. Fuck.

"What has my wife ever done to you? Can't you ever be happy for me or does it have to always be about yourself?" He shakes my shoulders violently. "Tell me!"

"It's because she has your heart and I never will." I cry once again. Stay strong Olivia.

"Of course you're in my heart. Stop making up excuses, and tell me the truth!" Don't Smith, don't you fucking dare say it!

"I love you!" I blurt out; making it the stupidest thing I have ever said.