I was so scared sitting in that hospital room, in such pain. I just didn't understand it. What was wrong? How did I end up in the emergency room? The doctor came in with his little clipboard, glaring at me like I was the worst person in the world. His cold stare, his hateful words cut through me. How could he treat me like this? He didn't know what I've been through or who I was.
He speaks "Well, looks like you miscarried. Don't wory though it happens all the time in teens. You're 15 and don't need a child anyway. You can go now, I'll have your papers at the desk." He left the room and I screamed. I couldn't stop crying. Did he know that I had been raped? Molested by someone that was supposed to protect me? Wait.....!!!????? I was pregnant! AHHH!!! I am going to die. I left the hospital with that secret. No family knew, not one. Most of them never believed what "he" did to me anyway.
......................I pushed all of that away from my mind as quickly as possible. I wanted no part of the experience in my head. I couldn't bring myself to even admit it to myself.
P.S. Please check out my experience with this abuse. In my other experience writing "Stolen Innocence". It is very graphic, please read carefully. It has very vivid abuse descriptions. Thank you.
It took years later to acknowledge it to myself let alone anyone else. At that time, once I accepted that it had happened. I named her. Not really knowing if she was a girl, I just went with the feeling in my heart. Little baby Elizabeth Marie White Flew to Heaven June 13th, 2001. Mommy was 15 years old. Even though she was "conceived" in that horrible way she was and always will be my child. A creation for a short time, now rests in the arms of Jesus forever.
MOMMY LOVES YOU!
Elizabeth Marie White
Angelversary - June 13th, 2001
Montrose, Colorado
