I am not doing ok. I am supposed to be delivering my twins alive this weeks they were due Feb. 11th, 2013. I feel like a total nutcase. Like I have gone back to day one!!!! I miss them. It has been 4 months since I delivered my baby girl Breeaunah stillborn on October 4th, 2012 and 8 months since I miscarried my Junior earlier in my pregnancy on June 15th, 2012. I am totally hysterical right now. I just want them back!!! Every single person has gone on and ignores that fact that my babies existed. I feel so alone. I talk about my children and they change the subject. Or avoid me all together. I want to run around screaming. I am supposed to be waddling around. Anxious, sleepless, waiting for labour to start. I want them back in my womb! With healthy beating hearts growing brains and a kick that makes me pee myself! Is that too much to ask for!? I am trying not to be angry and some days I am able to hide my utter devastation. I am not and will not hide it now. I am irritable, cranky, bitter, and totally emotional. My precious babies should be with me.
