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Chapter 4

Gun's pov

School
I didn't know how many times I cried last night. After that incident with Off. I don't want to give up on him, I mean he's one of my last wishes. But honestly I can't force him too.

"what happened to you? You look like you were crying?" sing worried face make me don't want to reveal what really happened. He couldn't possibly know that his friend is gay, or else he'll freak out.

"no I watched a movie last night. It's so sad to think that the person you liked won't like you back." yeah that's no movie but me.

"you know there's a saying that you will find happiness not with the one you love but the one that loves you the most. Just find someone who likes you and that's it." I sometimes like New's way of thinking, so practical it's as if I could forget Off by looking for someone who loves me.

But he's right, just that I'm too plain and boring. Even girls would be intimidated of me, so now who would even like me?

Maybe I'm just living in a fantasy. Maybe I should really forget Off. I don't have much time left. I'll focus more on doing other things.

As I was ordering my food, I heard a familiar voice. Great now he is ordering too. I'm standing next to the person I don't want to see for now. I gotta cover my face and leave as soon as my food is prepared.

"hey. Youre not hungry? Eat a lot, that's why you're so small." argh I hate it, he's speaking to me as if nothing happened. I was about to leave when he suddenly grabbed my arm.

"were you waiting in the bus stop last night? I'm sorry I wasn't there because my girlfriend had an emergency and she needed a ride." okay, what kind of emergency Off? Sexual emergency? She doesn't seem to be worried while riding your car.
She seems excited and flirty.

" no I wasn't waiting. I had to do things that's why I returned home early after class. " I don't know why I lied. Maybe I just looked pathetic now, and I don't want to bring myself further down.

"well great. Ahm about your confession..." I don't want to hear about that anymore and so I interrupted him.

"no need, actually I don't want to get myself involve with you again. Let's just forget what happened. I won't bother you anymore, so you can be with your girlfriend 24/7." my tears was about to fall but I have to be strong.

"thanks for liking me. You know, it won't be difficult for someone to like you, you're cute, smart and young. Don't rush in love, you will have many years to live then and eventually you will find someone who will love you too."

everything he said about me was correct, about being cute, smart and young. Except for the fact that I'll live longer . Maybe if I'll undergo chemotherapy though, maybe I will, but for now, i just rely on pain killers, and it won't even help me live longer.

We parted our ways after that. I don't want to look back. I know that when I do, I'll be hurt more.
People said about him are really true.  Hes a jerk, an asshole a playboy. Maybe those words he said are not meant for me. It's his fault for making me fall in love with him. I was contented with my life before, but when he came, he put meaning to it, and now he selfishly broke it.

Bus waiting area
"are you sure you won't go with us?" sing and new asked as theyre going to eat dinner outside. I have to reject their offer as I have to save money to buy painkillers.

They left me as I was waiting for a bus ride. However, the school guard came to me and said that the bus drivers are on strike and will resume their work tomorrow morning.

Argghhh why am I so unlucky. I was so frustrated that I really shouted. This is the second night damn it. The second night that I couldn't ride a bus. Now I have to ride taxis and it's damn so expensive.

I couldn't walk home too. Ooiiiii. Why don't you take my life now. I'm so tired with this. I'm brokenhearted now, at least give me something to ride.

At the end I still walked home but I have to stop in between and rest my legs. I don't want my bones to scream in pain, I only have enough painkiller for that. Then suddenly I noticed a shadow following me.

Now I'm scared I'm in a secluded area. But there's a convenience store ahead I just have to get there.

As I was walking fast suddenly the guy grabbed me. He was grabbing me hard and I was shouting, nooo don't touch me. Ahhh. I was shouting too. No one will be able to save me now. Somebody help me.

"let him go or I'll call the cops." he punched the guy, and guy left after that. And then my knight in shining armor was him again.

"are you okay? Were you hurt?". Off asked me while he assisted me in standing up. I couldn't control my fear and emotions anymore, I cried in front of him.

"Don't cry. I'm here. Wow this is the 2nd time I saw you crying. You still look like a baby." I was shocked when he said that. 2nd time? So that means he remembered what happened 2 years ago...

"I gotta go home thank you." I picked my bag and was about to start walking then he said, "I'll take you home. It's still dangerous here, he might attack you again."

So I ended up riding in his car. We didn't spoke a word and it was so awkward. I just want to remind myself again, how did this happen again? I thought I don't want to see him. Why did he appear in my sight again.

" you're class ended so late that you didn't get to ride a bus?" - off

" ah no, the bus drivers were on strike. I didn't know."

"must be hard on you." - off

" yeah and just like last night I have to walk again."

"last night? I thought your class ended early and you went home after that?"

Ohh sh** my mouth slipped. I have to make an excuse. Oh noo

"were you waiting for me in the bus stop last night?" I didn't answer his question. I'm so ashamed but what I don't want to feel is him pitying me.

"I'm sorry." his sorry was so sincere.

"you said to wait for you and so I did." I don't know why I said that, but Im on the verge of crying again. Gosh I only don't have a weak bone but also a weak heart. Maybe my cancer already spread reaching to my brain and heart.

"I'll make it up to you. From now on, I'll drive you home."

Home
I can't process what happened. Everything happened so fast. I mean, we were just strangers after what happened 2 years ago.  And now he started treating me as his passenger?

Ahhhh I couldn't stop giggling. I'm like a 17 year old girl being asked by her crush on a date.

I was then interrupted by a message on LINE. The message had a name of "milkshake" saying glad he found my Line account?

Is this Off? What the... I'm starting to expect more from this. So I messaged the person who he/she is.

Milkshaked replied: I'm studying in the same university as you. You're so cute. I've been crushing you ever since you were in first year. I'm in the college of engineering by the way. Nice meeting you Gun, I'm Oab