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Chapter 19

Off's pov

Next morning Gun had a severe headache due to hangover. And I was waiting for P Am's soup for Gun to cook. After it was all settled I brought the soup with me then I heard from father's room some giggling voice.

I decided to open the door of his room and took a sneak peek and saw him playing with Nirin.

I saw my father for the first time smiling so happily playing with Nirin. He even let Nirin put some of her toys on his lap and was clapping and singing while Nirin was dancing.

I don't really know how to react. Im having mixed emotions now. I don't know what to feel. Then he finally noticed me.

Off's dad: how long were you standing there? Come in. You wanna play with nirin?

Off: ah I..

Off's dad: ah just bring only stuff toys. No more brooom2 for now okay nirin, you got hurt before with this.

Off: no. I'm not playing with her yet. Her playmate is having a hangover.

Off's dad: ah. Okay.

It felt awkward after that. But I don't know why I was still inside his room.

Off's dad: jumpol. I... I just want you to know that... I'm okay with you in a relationship with him. You're already grown up now. I know you can handle things on your own.. I know that You don't need me anymore.

Off:THAT'S NOT TRUE.

He looked at me so sincerely. Stop looking me like that as if I'm the bad person here. I'm supposed to hate you, but why does my heart is telling me not to. Ive been trying to find ways to hate you more. I spoke you in the meanest way. I even told you about my relationship with Gun so that you'll be disappointed and scold me. I want you to hate me so that I can hate you more.

I didn't realize that my tears fell.

Off: I always wanted you to play with me like how you play with nirin.

I'm not supposed to be jealous with my niece, but I wanted him to love me too like how a father loves his son.

Off: I always envy my friends that even if they're not rich, they're father is still there supporting and loving them. I only have you before..... and I needed you, I expected so much of you...yet you didn't play the role of being a father. So don't blame me for hating you so much....

Off's dad: I know i only had bad memories with you. I won't be forcing you to forgive me too. I just... I'm sorry son. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you and your mom. I'm sorry for disappointing you so much.

This was the also the first time I heard him saying sorry. And I really felt relief. Maybe this is all I wanted to hear for so long. Those words are what I needed so that my heart can finally rest from anger and pain.

Off: please give me time....more time, until then, I'll be able to forgive you..

The next day came and we were already putting our bags in the car. My stepmom hugged me saying she's really sad that we were about to go.

Am: be sure to visit us again jumpol.

Off: you should be visiting me cause I'll be graduating this sem you bone head..

Stepmom: drive safely dear. Thank you for coming here Gun.

Gun waied. And he finally said goodbye to Nirin who was crying nonstop as she realized that Gun was about to leave. Then I saw my father staring at us from his glass window. Then I nodded at him and he smiled.

Off: I'll be coming here soon after my graduation. Please prepare a feast for me then.

Then after that we left my hometown.

As we were going back to our life in the city. I just realized that escaping your problem won't solve your problem. Cause in the first place, if I didn't agree with Gun in seeing my family and spending time with them for my summer vacation, then I wouldn't be able to feel this calmness in my heart.

Gun: P? Are you okay? You've been so silent.

Off: did you say something?

Gun: I was asking if we can stop by a souvenir shop? I'll give my mom something for being away for almost a week hehe.

Off: ahm bii...... Can we spend another day just us this time?

Gun: oh sure where? Same beach?

I know we would be busy again when the classes start so I wanna grab this chance just to be with you.

Off: ah no. Let's go to a hotel.

I chose an expensive hotel with nice room and infinity pool. We spent our whole day just chilling, swimming in the pool, eating delicious foods, watching the fireworks. It was a long day.

At night on the room
Off: bii? We're you enjoying our summer getaway?

Gun: yes p. I'm just happy I could spend it with you. Thank you for this wonderful memory.

Off: our night hasn't ended yet.

I looked into his eyes. Im really sure now that he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. How could I ever not noticed it before. Good thing he chose me to be his lover.

Off: will you make love to me?

He was hesitant at first and I know he has fear in his eyes. But then I touched his face and gave him a light kiss.

Off: I promise that I'll be gentle.

Gun: p.. I don't know how to do it.. I'm scared..

Off: you don't need to do anything. Just leave it to me. I'll make you happy.

Gun:..... okay.

He then closed his eyes and we kissed passionately. I kissed him hard cause heaven knows that I want more of him. I then removed his clothes and pushed him gently to the bed. I climbed on top of him and took off my clothes too. He was so shy and I could tell.

Off: don't need to feel shy  bii.. Cause after this night we will be doing this more often.

I kissed his neck down to his chest. He was moaning my name. Then I removed his pants and the last piece of clothing he had on his body..

Then I did all the things i learned from the internet and I prepared him as I was putting condom.

Gun: p???? It's painful ah..

I pitied him so much. But this is what the internet says, feeling pain and feeling pleasure afterwards.

It was so hard putting my thing inside him. I have to wipe gun's tears. I told him I'd be gentle but all I did was making him cry. Although afterwards he just hugged me and whispered into my ear that he loves me.

Off: I love you too bi.

It was indeed a long night. Gun might not be my first, but making love with him was definitely my favorite.