Amour Noir: Urban One-Shots

up to you.

He was perfect.

So perfect, that it scared me every time I'd recognize how hard I was falling for him. It's not that he didn't have flaws, it's just I loved every aspect of them.

You ever pray for something and when you finally get it, you realize how unprepared you are now that you have it? Well I prayed for him. I asked God to send me a genuine man who wanted me more or just as much as I wanted him. A man who would take pride in having me as his woman. A man who wouldn't try to change me, but add to what I already bring to the table.

But damn, I didn't think he'd be so quick to bring him to me.

I figured I'd have a chance to fix the broken wing that represents my heart, before God could send me my soulmate. He moved quickly though. Now my unpreparedness was about to cause me to lose the man of my prayers, all because I hadn't healed yet.

A little bit over a year ago, I was engaged and deeply in love. It all came crashing down once his mistress got ahold of my contact information and tried to blackmail me with her secrets. Long story short, I moved out of our apartment and left his ass. But not before the groceries I had bought were spilled onto his car. A perfect recipe for disaster.

So my distrust comes from lying ass niggas and oh! Did I mention my daddy issues? Talk about the tree that stemmed all of my men problems. You can just imagine how much trust I have in the male species...not much.

But then there's Maverick. He makes me feel..safe. Whenever I'm with him, it's like we've known each other forever and most of all, he gives no fucks about who I am and what I do. He's God-fearing, financially stable, responsible, romantic, and fine as fuck.

I know what you're thinking.

Bitch if he's all that, then get him pregnant.

I know. I know. It's just..maybe I don't know how to be with a man who doesn't need me to enhance him. I've never been with a man who doesn't need anything from me, but wants every part of me.

The thought of Maverick accepting me for all of my flaws, admiring my plus-size body, and stimulating my mind, body, and soul makes me smile. I know it hasn't been easy for him to get close to me with my thoughts running wild, but I just want to prove to him that I'm all in if he is.

"What's on your mind?" Maverick asked while rubbing on my legs, cutting my thoughts short. We were chilling on the couch watching a movie, but clearly it was watching me.

"Just thinking about some things. You in particular." I responded.

"I've been thinking too. So while we're at it, we might as well talk." He spoke before proceeding.

"Erin I love you and I try to make that obvious. I know you have previous issues, I know that it's hard for you to trust, but I'm here. I want all of you. I know it's a lot to adjust to. You ain't' never had a nigga to show that he's true to you, but we grown and I know what I want and I know that it's you. But sometimes baby, I feel like I'm playing a game and I gotta unlock a new level of you every time just to get you to open up. When are you gonna trust me?" He spilled. I sighed before grabbing one of his hands and interlocking our fingers.

"Mav baby I love you too. I'll admit that you coming into my life and blessing me has been quite an adjustment. I trust you 100% and I never want you to think that I don't. It's me who I don't trust. And I don't mean that in a way of saying I'll cheat or anything. I just mean... I don't wanna be the one to mess this up. I've never been in a healthy situation and I guess with us, I've been kinda leaving it up to you to show me how to do this. But I never want you to feel like you're in this alone, so I'm sorry for that. I just figured that we could take our time and you can run this." I spoke honestly.