Falling Slowly

Chapter 17- Start Weak, Finish Broken

I shut my eyes for a moment before quickly waking myself back up. Sleeping wouldn't help me. Fear, pain, and even judgment followed me into my dreams.

I shut my laptop and put my ice cream back into my fridge. Then I sat down on my bed again, trying to get rid of the agonizing thoughts in my head. Everything Tammy put me through played back through my mind over and over again. It was torture.

I checked the time, seeing that it was two and a half hours since I last called Damian. I guess he wasn't coming over. Fresh tears began to streak down my already broken face. I didn't bother wiping away my tears, but rather found comfort in the wet hot streaks they left. I focused on each individual tear as it left my eyes, trying not to think for the thousandth time about the words Tammy made me speak.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there wallowing in self-pity when the door flew open. My eyes widened in fear and shock when I saw that it was my mother.

"Rebecca! I heard that you skipped classes today! A stupid child like you needs all the help she can get, and now you don't attend class either? A disgrace." She yelled, her arms making big gestures to emphasize what a horrible daughter I was.

I sat there in silence, watching her through the tears in my eyes. When she finally stopped shouting at me she realized I was crying. She sighed and slammed the door shut. I was left in silence once again and I couldn't bear it a second time.

I grabbed my laptop and put on a playlist titled The Truth About Life and focused on the words that came out from the speakers.

One step back and I fall into the background

No one will ever know what I really want

I'll just hide in the shadows

They don't need to know

I sighed. These lyrics weren't helping. All of a sudden I heard a knock on the door. I slammed my laptop shut in a hurry, thinking it was my mother again. The door opened a crack before opening wider. I let out a sob of joy when I saw who it was. He began walking forward. I wasted no time and jumped off my bed and rushed forward to give Bestie a hug. He quickly returned it, stroking my hair soothingly as I buried my head in his chest. He was here. He actually came.

[30 minutes later]

"So this Tammy girl is behind all of this? Well I am going to give her a piece of my mind..." He stood up, cracking his knuckles. I could tell that he was trying to look intimidating, but to me he still looked like Damian, except he was trying to be a badass when he clearly wasn't.

"I don't care about her right now!" I yelled. "I need help with what to do about Jacob and the rest of the pops."

"So you do actually like being friends with them?" He asked, eyeing me carefully as I avoided his eyes and stared at the floor, struggling to respond.

"Well, sure. But I mean I feel like somehow Tammy got some parts right, but I definitely don't hate them. They are the only people who talk to me at school and even though I am suspicious of their real intentions with bringing me along into their group, I like hanging out with them."

"Even Jacob?" Damian asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course." I stared at his curious eyes. "Why? What's wrong with that?"

Damian shrugged. "I just wanted to know what relationship you two have."

"Relationship?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "What are you talking about? We're just friends."

Damian nodded, pretending to side with me. "Yeah, sure."

I rolled my eyes. "So what do I do now Damian? I'm scared and hurt and lost." Damian pulled me into another hug.