Falling Slowly

Chapter 19- Family Issues

The wind rattled the tree outside causing me to look out the window. The sky was dark, and Damian had dropped me off a couple hours ago. A part of me found it hard to believe that he actually stayed for me. After all, he had homework, friends- a life outside of "babysitting Rebecca." Nonetheless I was forever grateful to have someone like Damian.

Lying down on my bed, I reread the little paragraph that had been bugging me for hours. I held the phone tightly in my hands; MyDeadLivingSoul's most recent Twitter post glowing in my face. It was crazy and utterly impossible, but for some reason I kept thinking that Jacob was MyDeadLivingSoul. But that's unbelievable. In one of the first posts I read it talked about him being as broken as the girl he likes. Jacob was a perfect popular boy. Everyone loved him and he seemed to be cheerful and happy all the time. How could he be broken?

I quickly dismissed the thought from my mind when I heard footsteps going up the stairs. Oh shit, it must be my mother. I quickly sat up, hid my phone, and grabbed my textbook so I could pretend to study. It's not that she cared about my grades, it's just that I had to look like I was doing something. Also, there was no way I was letting her see the new phone my father got for me. She might take it from me, or in her rage she might break it. I never knew with her.

Quickly opening up the textbook to a random page, I looked down just in time for my mother to burst open the door. "You ungrateful little girl!" She pointed and glared angrily at me. "You switched schools to the one across the city? Are you crazy! Are your stupid friends not good enough for you? Did they threaten to expel you? I bet you got in a fight with someone who walked all over your pathetic self. And now you think things are going to work out at your new school? Let me tell you, no matter where you go you will still be the same piece of trash you were before. You think I want useless waste living in my house? As soon as you are 18 I am kicking you out! If you're stupid father doesn't take you in, then you might as well live on the streets because you have no one."

I gritted my teeth and my hands clutched the textbook in rage. I tried to stop myself from yelling back at her, but I realized I've been met my limit. These past few days I've been pushed around and threatened and now I've had enough. I don't care if I ended up living on the streets, as long as my mother was as far away from me as possible.

My mother opened her disgusting mouth and was about to continue yelling when I cut her off with a scream. I threw the book on the ground and got up from the bed so I could look her directly in the eye. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! All you do is yell at me, tell me what to do, and think you're some parent but you're never even home! And you leave a bunch of stupid little notes because you don't care enough to tell me in person. Tell me, after the divorce why did you decide to keep me? Why not leave me to my father or better yet, deposit me in an orphanage downtown? You have never cared about me, mother, and you've never taken the time to see that I'm emotionally and mentally scarred. I've tried to commit suicide before. I've tried to live a better life. I fail at everything I do. Please, please, why can't you see that I hate you!"

I took deep breaths and rubbed my eyes to wipe away my tears. My mother looked even more angry than before. I began to cower in fear and immediately regretted what I had said when her hands started shaking and she began walking closer to me.

With every step closer I stepped back. Eventually I was backed up against the wall and she gave me an evil grin.

"You want to leave?" She venomously whispered, "Then leave. Pack your things." She took a deep breath and gave me a fake smile. "You better be out of here before 11:59 PM or I am dumping you on the streets. You were going to end up there anyways. I was just helping to speed up the process." With that she turned around and walked carefully out of my room.