Destined

Sixty Nine

Vince

How long does shock last? Because I'm not sure how long we stared at each other? Just stared. Standing right in front of each other doing nothing but staring. I honestly couldn't believe she'd slapped me. But the stinging on my right cheek told me to believe it. I stepped back, away from her, after some time.

"I tried so hard to be perfect for you," I mumbled.
"You were perfect. You were more than that. Even after all this, you still are, don't you see?" She asked. "You don't have to be put together all the time,"

"So why did you leave? Without a word, you broke up with me, and disappeared. I didn't know where you were, no one did. At first I thought, she just needs time to cool off. She'll be back. I tried to keep busy. To prevent myself from pulling my hair out, I wrote, and I...then news about Jonah hit, and Celine, her mum, they needed me. I thought you'd show up then, I thought.... I thought you'd come back. A week went by and nothing. So I started looking for you. Then I heard you dropped out of school, and I panicked. So I went to Delaware. And your mum wouldn't tell me where you were. No one would freaking tell me where the hell you were!"

I was shaking, anger driving me. I wasn't angry at her. Okay no, I was a little angry at her for leaving. But mostly I was angry at myself. That I had driven her so far away that she'd gone to the lengths of hiding from me. And dropping out of school. I tried to rein myself in when she spoke.

"I'm sorry," she said slowly. "What I did was....selfish. You're right. At the first sign of trouble, I ran. Just as I expected you to come to me when you were in pain, I should have stayed that night, I should have helped you through it. I should have been there, for you,"

"So why weren't you? Because I needed you, Kristina. I really did. I was reliving my dad's murder all over again. And yes, I made a stupid decision, but I did need you, and you were gone,"

"Because I was scared. Not of you, but that you blamed me. The way you looked at me that night. Its my fault. The gun...You lost the one thing you had of your dad because of me. It's my fault Professor Darke isn't here anymore, and I know you said not to worry about it but..."

"But you still don't trust me,"

She didn't answer. She didn't have to. I shook my head. That would always be our problem. She still didn't trust me completely. Every time I said something to her, she would still second guess it, like a reflex. I didn't know how to fix that. And I wanted to fix it so badly. I needed her to trust me. I needed her.

I sat back down on the bed, burying my face in my hands hating the situation we'd found ourselves in. Feeling helpless. I felt her hands on mine and sat up straighter to look at her. Even tear stained, and eyes swollen, she was still the most beautiful creature I'd ever come across. My eyes drank her in like a man who'd spent many days in the desert. She'd lost weight and her eyes didn't seem as bright as before. My girl was hurting just as much as I was. She dropped to her knees inbetween my legs and took my face in her hands.

"What do we do now?" She asked.

"Kristina, I love you, actually, I think I need to invent a better word because love doesn't cut it, and I know you love me. We've been in purgatory for weeks now. I thought giving you space would help, letting you come back to me. I waited, I've been waiting, for you to come back to me. But I'm tired of waiting. You're hurting, I'm hurting, can we please just stop?" I asked. "I know I broke your trust when I decided to drink instead of talk to you, and I will spend the rest of my life earning it again, please just give us back what we had. There's no one for me, and there's no one for you. We're a match, we are destined, you can't run from that,"

"Vince, I love you too. But I don't think love is enough in this case. I'm too....damaged. We both are, and we're just hurting each other ,"
"Then let's put in the extra mile,"
"What?"
"I'm not letting you go without a fight. So state your claims, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it,"
"Are you drinking still?" She asked tentatively, as though scared to broach the subject.
"No, I haven't touched a drop since that night," I answered truthfully.