Surrender

Chapter Eleven

Chapter 11

Nick's

By this time I thought she would remember me.

But I guess all my hopes were wasted. As if it was cut into pieces and thrown into the deep ocean, completely devoured by the waters, rejected by the tides, and forgotten by the light, little by little sinking into the dark ocean floor.

Aasa nanaman.

That was something Fuego would say to me after having a drink with him.

I am still at fault. Because of the past, the present and most probably the future too. My mistake led to the death of the one I love. Someone that isn't just a part of me, but someone who is the reason why I am me.

My thoughts were filled with, sana ako nalang ang kinuha, sana ako nalang ang nasaktan, sana ako nalang ang kinuha Niya, sana noong una palang ay may ginawa na ako, sana ngayon palang umamin na ako.

But, I was and still am a stupid coward. A fuckin' stupid coward with no guts to bring back what once was his. The reason for his existence, his only love. Daniella.

Every night, I would slowly close my eyes but all I see is her bloody face, begging for help. Her cries that echoed throughout my room kept me awake. Her dying state still lingers, as if it just happened yesterday. Every time I remember her, all I get a glimpse on is her beautiful face, the face I used to kiss, touch and adore. The face of my wife.

Compared to before, now, I feel relieved that I get to see her everyday.

But my nightmares were getting worse now that I got the chance to talk to her.

FLASHBACK

" Goodmorning Sir Nick! Have naka pag-breakfast na po ba kayo? Gusto niyo po ay mag-order ako sa kitchen ng makakain niyo?" I was walking towards the lobby when my secretary saw me.

"Its okay Marc, I had coffee." I answered him. He then just smiled and nodded.

This is my usual morning routine so, I know they wont wonder why I'm roaming around. I checked the lobby, the entrance and greeted the guards and drivers on duty. After all the things I had to do, I sat on the lobby's sofa. I'll probably stay here for the meantime. I have nothing to do in my room. I would sulk, grieve, and blame myself again for the next 24 hours. So I'd rather stay here and read this useless magazine.

I like diverting my attention to a lot of things. Yeah, I know, I do this stuff just to be distracted. So I won't grieve for her death everyday. It's time to try to do normal stuff I used to do when she was still around. If she was still here, I know I would be inspired to do things, but sadly she gone. And what's worse is, I was the reason why she's gone. Now I only have myself. No one to cry on, no one to lean on. Because she's gone, and she is never going back-

"Hoy mga kupal! Bilis-bilisan naman gumalaw! I'm excited to swim and wear my swinsuits! Mag check-in na tayo!!"

A loud voice caught my attention immediately. Sounds familiar. Hmmm.

"Daming energy ha! Porket ang Sarap ng tulog mo sa balikat ko! Tapos ako ni hindi nga naka tulog! Bwisit ka!" Again, another familliar voice. My back was facing the front office area so of course I would'nt see who they were.

"Hoy Elle! Yung maleta mo! Wag kang atat! Nandito samin yung swimsuits mo! Balikan mo dito yung mga dala mo! Ano ka sinuswerte?! Tignan mo, si Tina pa nag dala." Elle? Familliar.