Maknae= Taemin

Painful Love Starts Now

Taemin~

"You know you have to decide in a few days, Taemin-Sunbae." I nod even though he can't see me through the phone. 

"Yeah I know."

"You don't seem very excited." 

"I'm sorry, Kai. I'm just worried."

"What's there to be worried about?" I bite my lip. What isn't there to be worried about? I have to leave Seoul and go to Beijing with EXO, making a strain on my friendships. I don't know if any of the SHINee hyungs will be happy about me leaving them, if that's what I decide to do. 

"I don't know.. It's going to be a big change for me."

"I'll be there with you." That's exactly what I'm worried about. If Minho knows that Kai is going to be the one supporting me, he's going to be angry. Something happened between them but neither will tell me. I just want them to let me know what's going on. 

"Thanks Kai." The door to the room opens. "I have to go okay? Call me later."

"Bye." I hang up and put the phone on the bed beside me. Why do I have to make decisions like this? Minho comes in and lays in bed. He doesn't seem happy. The room is completely dark, all I can see is the outline of his hair. 

"Taemin-ah."

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever been jealous before?" He catches me off guard. Jealous? He's jealous? 

"No."

"Don't be. It's horrible. It makes you feel like you're not good enough." I blink in the darkness. He's.. upset. I don't like when Minho is upset. 

"You're more than good enough."

"I've decided that I'm going to focus on my career from now on. I have to work hard if I'm going to be the best." I guess this is my chance. 

"What if you had to choose between your career and your friends?"

"What do you mean?"

"If there were a decision that made you choose between staying with the people you love or your job, what would you choose?"

"It depends."

"Let's say that it was a once in a lifetime offer that would help you grow as.. an artist."

"I'd have to choose friends." My breath catches. So Minho would choose to stay with us. Here I am considering leaving them for another group.. But it wouldn't be forever. I'd just be gone for a few weeks. "You have to make important decisions in life but there's always another job. You can't get back good friends once you've lost them."

"What if it's a job that you've been training for your entire life?" He turns on his side to look at me. 

"It doesn't matter. You can't just abandon the people who've been there for you." I bite my lip. I guess I know how he feels about this now. "What would you do?" I shrug. 

"I really don't know." I can see his eyes a little bit better now. Those big eyes that I love so much. 

"Who's making the decision?" I don't answer. He knows exactly who it is. He knows that it's me, he knows what I have to choose between. "Whoever it is, tell them to follow their heart. That's the only way you're going to get the right decision for yourself." 

"Would you be mad?" I murmur. 

"I don't know." I expected this. "If someone were to leave me, I'd be hurt. Wouldn't you?"