If I don't want to - S.M.

13 | The Muse

Shawn

"Aal, are you coming with me?" I shouted while drying my hair with the towel.

"Yes, yes," she shouted back from the living room as she's running towards where I was, "Will we meet Agnes today?" Her head poked out of the bedroom door side.

"Of course not, I'm going to the studio today," I said while putting on the t-shirt.

"Oh, okay," she laid on the bed seems like she's thinking hard on something.

"What's on your mind, honey?"

"Hmm... I'm just wondering how should I connect you with her."

I shook my head and a smile appeared on my lips, "Come on, I'm running late."

She jumped out of bed and ran behind me like a little girl, "Ariel you need to stop doing that."

"Hm?" She looked up at me and confusion painted on her puppy eyes.

"This," I pointed a finger at her, "You. You need to stop being so cute if you want me to move on," we gazed into each other's eyes smiling, but it soon faded, replaced by long sighs.

We walked to the front yard and entered the car. Took her no time to plug the aux cable into my phone. "How are you feeling out there, Los Angeles! You're back again with your loveliest VJ, Ariel Aalys!"

I couldn't stop laughing at her act. She never failed to make me laugh. She soon picked a song and tapped on the play button. Sucker by Jonas Brothers blasting from the speakers.

Ariel hummed and sang along to the music while scrolling through my phone. I might have to buy her a new phone so she could stop using my phone to stalk people. I shook my head.

"SHAWN! SHAWN!" She cried out suddenly making me shocked.

"What, babe?" I replied as I patted myself on the chest.

"Agnes just posted photos from the tour," she said as she swiped and zoomed the photo on the phone.

"Ugh, not again," I looked outside to the window beside me.

"Shawn, this is a perfect opportunity. You should DM her and start a conversation," she lectured while pointing at the phone, "I really have to micromanage you, eh?" She frowned, but a smile followed it soon.

I believed my eyes would roll 180 degrees if it could.

"Let's wait for 15, 20 minutes, or you would seem like you're stalking her," she locked the phone and put it on her lap.

"As you wish, My Majesty," I swung my hand gesturing a bow.

"That title belongs to your mom, Shawn," she chuckled.

"Alright then, My Princess," I bowed once again.

"That's better," a huge smile painted on her face.

A set of Ariel's favourite songs by Alessia Cara's accompanied us until we reached the studio parking lot. I pulled the car, unbuckled my seatbelt, and turned off the engine.

"Hey, wake up, Honey. We're here," I ruffled her untouchable hair. I really wanted to caress her cheeks and kiss them with my lips.

"Mhm- Oh- when did I snooze off?" Her eyes fluttered open. She rubbed her eyes and gather herself to fully wake up.  "Let's gooo," she grabbed the door handle but quickly stopped what she's doing, "No, Ariel, you shouldn't open and close a door as you want," she said under her breath before sliding her shadow through the door.

I again laughed and shook my head before leaving the car. Soon I synced my pace with her and snatched the phone from her hand.

"Oh you're right, the phone," she said in shock.

"People will start thinking I really went to Hogwarts if you keep doing this, Aal," I whispered.

She nodded innocently, triggering a smile on my face.

We took the stairs and entered the front office. Sound of a bell ringing greeted us as I opened the door.
"Good morning, Shawn," greet the girl behind the black front desk.

"Hey, Cassie. Haven't seen you for a while. Everything's good?" I took the wired pen on the desk and started filling out the studio attendance list.

"Yeah, I just came back from London to attend my brother's graduation," she stopped her typing on the laptop and stood up to check the list, "How's the tour? It must be incredible," she smiled at me.

"Totally, yeah," I smiled back and handed the list to her. "Send my congratulations to your brother!" I shouted as I took other stairs to the studio on the second floor.

"Howdie, Mendes!" Teddy raised her hand from the keyboard and waved at me as I opened the door.

"Hey," I dropped my bag on the floor and walked towards her, "Already working on some tunes?"

"Nah, just smashing some keys. Got any brilliant ideas?" She turned back to her piano.

"Neither do I," I sighed, "My brain has stopped functioning properly these days," I pulled a chair and start picking a melody on my guitar.

"Aww, I'm always here all ears, you know," she smiled with her eyes down.

"Yeah, thanks, Bud," I smiled back.

I turned my head to the table across my seat. Ariel was sitting behind it, leaning to the side of the table, her hands were up straight supporting her head, and her eyes were staring blankly at the wall. She knew she's all the muse to my music and she's all the reason I went numb, and she felt guilty. Because if she could, she would do anything to help me in a heartbeat.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath once again. I felt every tune that's coming out of the strings pricked every corner of my heart.
We've gone through ups and downs. Heartbreaks and reunites. Every single person that I met said that she's the one. We thought this was it. We've found what true love was, and we're ready to begin the journey together. But fate chose the opposite.

The song on my guitar came to an end. Her eyes finally met mine and a faint curve appeared on her lips. I smiled back to her, assuring her that she didn't have to worry. While deep down I knew, we would never be okay.

—

Hi, is anyone still here?

(I said while cleaning all the spider web and blowing dust off this book)