Énouement

Chapter Nine

Ender sat on his bed with his desk on his knees. It was private study time, and I could see that he was playing the fantasy game.

It was a shifting, crazy kind of game in which the school computer kept bringing up new things, building a maze that you could explore. You can go back to events that you liked, for a while; if you left them alone too long they disappeared and something else took its place.

Sometimes funny things. Sometimes exciting. And you had to be quick to stay alive. You died a lot, but that was okay. You died until you got the hang of it. I didn't like the fantasy game.

The way it adapted, the way it changed, to all the choices that you made. Well It didn't sit right with me. It felt like the computer was actually in my head, like the adults were in my head. And maybe they were. Why else would they let us play this game? It adapted to our choices and personality, it knew us like the back of its virtual hand. It was as if they were analyzing us with it.

They encouraged us to play this game, practically demanded we play the game. I didn't like it. It reminded me of the stories that my parents use to tell me. About how long ago in America, the government analyzed and watched and controlled everything that you did. There was no privacy. I liked my privacy. I didn't like being analyzed. I didn't like these adults in my head. And so I didn't play it.

Ender didn't have such qualms about playing the fantasy game. I watched as his character, a large mouse, placed in front of a giant. He had to guess which glass held poison, out of the two, in order to pass. I had seen Ender play the scene quite often, but no matter what he never won. Again and again, again and again, Ender died each time.

I jumped down into his bunk and watched him play. I didn't know why he kept trying, or why he was so determined to beat this giant. What I saw next scared me. Ender had his character kick one of the glasses over and then the other, and jumped at the Giants face. He began to dig into the giant's eyes. Stuff started coming out, like cottage cheese, and it spilled all over the screen. Ender's figure burrowed itself deeper into the eye. In and in and in.

The giant fell over backwards. Ender had killed no, he had maimed the giant. I was pretty sure no one else had done so. He moved over into the next scene, still not noticing me in his bunk watching. A little bat flew up around him and started talking.
"How did you get here? Nobody ever comes here." Ender couldn't answer back. Instead he reached down, took a handful of the giants eye stuff, and offered it to the bat. The bat took it and flew off, shouting as it went, "Welcome to Fairyland."

I had never seen, or heard even, any of the other boys talking about this place. This fairyland. The game even told him that no one had came there before. It made my stomach turn, something wasn't right. Ender signed off instead of exploring, and noticed me there next to him.

He looked shocked for a minute and then afraid. Afraid of me? No. Afraid that I had seen what he had done. He didn't just kill the giant, he murdered him. It was a gruesome death. It reminded me of Peter. I couldn't tell Ender that.

So instead I smiled, "Are you ready to go to dinner?"

I had to pretend like I hadn't seen that. I had to pretend that I hadn't felt as if I was looking at Peter, cruel Peter. Instead of my Ender, my sweet Ender. I grabbed his hand and called to Alai, Shen, and Bernard as I dragged him out of the bunk.

"I'm hungry so hurry up!" We all walked together in the halls, laughing and shoving. I kept hold of Ender's hand and smiled as I spoke to him, but I knew he didn't believe that I hadn't seen what he did. And I knew that he was thinking of Peter too.

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