Énouement

Chapter Fifty Three

"What do you mean Torie? What are you talking about?" I couldn't look anyone in the eyes. I could feel them all staring at me. All but Alai, who knew the story. Had cried with me. Had understood what had happened.

"Torie, you don't have to tell them." He squeezed my hand, but I shook my head. I looked up at the others and cleared my throat.

"I have to though. Because how can I work along side you all when you know nothing about me? I'm not Ender, I'm not some untouchable person, I'm not above anyone here. We are all each other has right now, and I'm not going to drive a wedge between us all. The adults will do enough of that." They nodded solemnly and waited for me to continue, I sighed again, and stood up to walk around the room.

"I love Ender, I love every aspect of him and I would never change a thing about my life, because it brought me to him. I don't regret disobeying my parents, though they were very angry with me, and cruel. I don't regret coming here, because even though I had a choice, Ender was a Third and did not. The only thing I regret, was not fighting Peter. Because I didn't, not really. Valentine did all she could to protect Ender from Peter, but she was scared too and it wasn't a lot. There was no way she could protect both him and me.

I didn't understand at first, why Ender never brought me to his house. He spoke so highly of His parents and of Valentine. And then after weeks and months of begging, he finally did take me home. Only it would be in the mornings, while Valentine and Peter were at school. But one day, we lost track of time, and Peter came home. That was the first time I met him. And the first time Ender saw me cry."

I stopped walking around the room and placed a hand against the cold metal wall. I wished so badly for a window, even to just see the blackness of space.

"Torie?" Dink's voice brought me out of my thoughts, out of my subconscious distraction. The distraction I had trained myself to do, so I wouldn't have to remember. I turned towards them.
"Torie, did he... Did he touch you?" Dink looked uncomfortable. They all did. And Alai just gripped his hands so tightly that they changed colors.

"No." I paused. "But sometimes I wish he had. It would've made things easier I think." I swear Alai growled. Crazy Tom practically jumped out of his seat in anger while he shouted.

"How would that have been easier!? You saying you wanted him to touch you!?" Petra made a sound of protest, and Shen body checked Crazy Tom back into his seat. Vlad and Dumper looked like they would pounce on him at any moment.

"How can you say that!? What's wrong with you!?" Hot Soup placed himself in front of Crazy Tom, I guessed as a barrier to me. Soon everyone was yelling at each other for some thing or other. Bean just stared at me sadly. But it wasn't out of pity. No, it was almost as if he knew what I was trying to say, and he knew how badly this had damaged me.

"Kuso." I cursed. "Will you all shut up!? How can I tell you anything if you won't listen?" They started to quiet down and take their seats, Crazy Tom still looked angry.

I sighed and ran a hand through my curls.

"I said it would've been easier, not because I wanted that to happen, but because it would've really been easier. Peter is... A cruel boy. Not like a bully, he was more than than. Peter was a sociopath, and he had everyone else fooled."

I bit my bottom lip as the memories I had blocked for so long came back at me full force.

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