Énouement

Chapter Fifty One

The destroyer Condor was boring to say the least. The 11 of us had indulged the pilots in their reminiscents of Battle School, but that got old very quickly.

Without the shared concerns of being army commanders, we all seemed to drift into our natural friendship groups. Dink and Petra had been friends almost from their first beginnings in Battle School, and they were so senior to the rest of us that no one tried to penetrate that closed circle. As fun as Dink was, I didn't exactly want to cozy up to Petra.

Alai, Shen, and I had been in the same launch group with Ender. We had remained close, yet things had been awkward between the three of us lately. Whether that was due to my distractions of Ender, or Alai's increased over protectiveness of me after my... Time away. I didn't know. But Shen and Alai had stuck together after they had moved Ender and I away from them, so I didn't want to disrupt their friendship.

Now Vlad and Dumper, who had commanded toons and were probably the most worshipful of Ender, hung around with them. I imagined that Ender was Jesus, Shen and Alai were apostles, and the other two had become fanatics. It was funny to think of them all that way, but I had made the mistake of telling them one day. After that, Vlad and Dumper just pouted and blushed around me. I decided to leave them be after that. 

Crazy Tom, Fly Molo, and Hot Soup had already been like the Three Musketeers back in Dragon Army. They were adorable together, and I often found myself joking and keeping myself around them for the most part. They made me forget our situation and it was like being a kid again. Well... I guess we were all still kids but....

I knew Bean didn't feel comfortable around any of us, not really anyway. It wasn't in his nature to be. I don't think he expected to be included at all; but like me he wasn't excluded either. I knew that Crazy Tom respected Bean, and that Bean had taken him to confront Achilles before we left. Crazy Tom made sure to include Bean in discussions, and like me Bean was usually teetering on the particular group. But there was still a separation.

I could tell this bothered Bean, but not because he wanted to be included.
"What's wrong?" I had found Bean in the library, his usual place.
"This minute? Or are you taking grievances to the quality of life on this ship?" He kept his eyes on whatever he was reading, and though his tone was flat, I could feel his small semblances of humor.

"You know Bean, your really picking up on that bratty kid speech. Soon everyone will think that you're a real boy." I laughed and he gave me a small chuckle. Bean wasn't one for public displays of emotion, so I counted my lucky stars that he felt so comfortable around me.

"You know what I mean. I've seen the look on your face when we're all together. I've gotten very good at reading the small expressions you give." Bean looked conflicted for a moment, and then gone, as if he was remembering something. "Bean?"

Bean turned towards me finally, and stared at me a moment.
"You once told me about your job, and we talked about mine." I nodded, but he wasn't asking. "You're not stupid, Torie. I know you know why we're here." I nodded again.

"We were assembled. And not randomly, so hopefully for Ender."
"Definitely for Ender."
"And we've divided ourselves."
"We've successfully made it that much harder for us to trust each other." What Bean said made sense. "We have to trust everyone, or we'll be useless to Ender." I placed my head against my palm and looked towards Bean exasperated.

"Well what do you want us to do? I'm all for whipping everyone into shape, but if we tell them that they're being stupid and we need to be a cohesive group, they'll deflect it."

"No, we can't presume any sort of leadership."
"And anyway, you'd have to practice what you preach. And we both know you still hold Petra responsible for the would-be hallway beat down." Bean looked offended and almost pouted.
"Well either she did it on purpose, or she's an idiot. Neither explanation gives her my trust or respect."
"You didn't have to call her Judas." Bean huffed, and for once looked his age.
"Well she is! And it's not a big deal anyway."
"She's Armenian! Her country has been murdered for centuries for worshiping Christianity!"

We glared at each other for a minute, before laughing uncontrollably. It felt good to laugh like this, like we didn't have the fate of humanity in our shoulders. But Bean quickly sobered up, and it was back to business.

"What're you reading?"
"Current events. Though it's only as current as its last docking." He said begrudgingly.
"Not good news then?" I asked carefully.
"Russians have been neutralizing the countries around them, transporting their troops. A Russian hegemony is plausible."

"The Polemarch is Russian." Bean nodded. "The Strategos wont be able to do much." He nodded again. "Once the war is over?" I bit my lip and Bean looked away. I didn't need an answer to that one. "I'm sure you'll think of something to help." I ruffled his hair before grasping his head in my hands and dramatically kissing his forehead. Bean glared and squirmed away from me.

I winked at him before turning to walk out the door. I could hear him turn back to the computer. I stopped and turned back to him as something occurred to me. Bean never talked about home, no one really did. But did Bean have a home? He was so uncomfortable with any sort of affection or contact. Did anyone love him at home?

I walked slowly back towards Bean, making sure to keep my steps light so he wouldn't hear me. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around Bean's small body. He struggled and swiped at me to push me away, but I was still stronger and bigger than him.

"What're you doing!"
"Hugging you."
I held on tight to him until he calmed and leaned against me. We stayed that way for awhile longer.
"Why do you always do stuff like this?" He sounded like he was pouting again and I smiled.

"Because I don't think you've been hugged very often. And you're a kid, kids should be hugged." Bean was quiet for a few seconds before responding.
"You're a kid too." He caught me off guard and I peered over at his face. He wasn't looking at me, but away. "You're a kid too, Torie."

"Yeah..." I trailed off, not sure where he was going with this.
"Who hugs you?" I looked down at Bean in shock. I cleared my throat and rested my head against his.
"Well... Ender used to. All the time when we were kids. Not so much before he... And Alai sometimes. Dink used to when I was little."

We were quiet again for awhile. Finally I released Bean. I smoothed down his hair and smiled at him.
"You know, I had always wanted a little brother. If I had had one, I would want him to be like you." With that I walked away.

I was almost to the door when I heard a chair scrapping and feet slapping against the cold metal floor. Before I could turn, I felt the force of a small body hitting mine and tiny arms wrapping around my waist.
"Bean?" I twisted slightly to look at him, but he had his face buried in my shirt. I could feel the heat radiating off his face.

"Someone should hug you regularly. You're a kid and you said kids need to be hugged. You're still a kid Torie." Bean released me and looked away from, embarrassed. I kneeled down onto my knees to reach Bean's height.
"You know sometimes, I forget that." I smiled and lifted his face to see me. "Thank you, Bean."

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Hey guys just a short chapter for you all.
I'm finally done with all my finals for the semester so I'll be updating a little more frequently.
Thanks for voting and commenting.

Any feedback or questions are appreciated!