Énouement

Chapter Eighteen

Bonzo was quick to hear of the boy in the Battleroom who had called me princess. He was even quicker to learn of how I had over powered him and pressed him so hard to the wall, he had bruises. He didn't hear how the boy called me a Neeshka, until I accidentally told him,

"What's his name!? What barrack is he in!?" In my defense, I thought Bonzo had heard that part.

"It's fine Bonzo. I don't need you to go after every boy here who disrespects me. And anyway Alai and Ender roughed him up." Bonzo stopped his angry stomping and turned to me.

"They beat him good?" He asked seriously.
"Took four boys to pull em off him. Each." I smirked.

"At least Wiggin can do something right." He scoffed. I bit my lip and looked away.

"And I did handle him before that, so your honor is safe."
"I'm not angry because he damaged my 'honor' Bonita." He huffed
and I smiled.

"Was that all you called me for, sir?" He nodded.
"I'd heard some rumors. Wanted to know what had happened." I smiled.
"Everything was handled just fine Bonito."

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The next two battles we had were easy Salamander victories. I had begun to realize that Condor Army, which had barely beaten us, was unusually good; Salamander, weak as Bonzo's grasp of strategy may be, was one of the better teams. They had steadily been climbing up the ranks with Bonzo as their commander. They were clawing for forth place with Rat Army.

Time was passing quickly here. Ender had turned seven today and my own birthday was coming up. There weren't really any dates or calendars here in battleschool, not really a need for one. But Ender and I had found out how to bring the date up on our desks; All computers had to keep the date after all.

I knew Ender had to be feeling down about today, I just didn't know whether or not I should confront him about it. But nobody told birthdays here. it was childish, and something landsiders did. Cakes and silly customs. I seemed to be the only one who found it ironic that they had a bunch of kids playing war games, but birthdays were what was seen as childish. The teachers ignored my thoughts on the matter.

"Ender?" I had bit the bullet and sat on his bunk. "Today got you messed up?" He sat still on his bunk just feeling his new uniform.

"Valentine baked me a cake last year for my birthday." I laughed at the memory.

"Oh yeah, it was terrible! It fell and everyone teased her for months." He didn't look at me. just kept feeling his new uniform.

"I saved a piece of it and put it in my cupboard. It's probably still there. A piece of greasy yellow dust."

"Ender, I know that nobody talks about home. Like there was no life before battle school. Nobody sends letters and nobody gets any. Everybody pretends like that don't care. But you are my reminder that I did have a life before this, on Earth. And I like having that reminder. Does it bother you that I'm a reminder of home?" I held his hand softly and looked at him nervously. He smiled bitterly.

"No, never Tori. You make being here a little more bearable, make me miss home a little bit less. You know Graff told me that I couldn't take anything with me. Said that when I did come back, Valentine would be a woman unrecognizable. That it wouldn't be the same. But he was wrong, I got to take you with me, and you didn't have to go." I bit my lip and couldn't meet his gaze.

Ender didn't know that Graff came to me first. Ender was a third, and so he really had no choice in coming here. I wasn't. An only child, it was my own choice whether or not to come. but I came for Ender. Graff told me that he would go, and that I could go too. I could grow with Ender, help him grow to be something great. or I could stay on Earth, and never see Ender again. After all the time in my head, Graff knew exactly what to say, to make me come to the damn station. He knew I would do anything for Ender.

But Ender didn't need to know that. Didn't need to know that I was only here for him. That it was my choice, but not really. Because I would've jumped out of an airlock here, if Graff said it would help Ender in some way. The only reason I came up here, was to be with Ender. He didn't need that on his conscience. It would make him resent himself every time he saw me in uniform or in the battleroom. So I quickly changed the subject.

"You miss her?"

"Everyday. The only reason that I'm here is so a bugger won't shoot Valentines eye out, won't blast her head open like the soldiers in the videos of the first battles. Won't split her head open with a beam so hot that her brains spill out like rising bread dough." I laughed awkwardly.

"I don't think we've seen the same vids Ender." His hand tightened under mine and I frowned.

"It's how I see it in my dreams. It's how I see it in my worst nightmares. It's what I dream about all the time, nothing else. Scare me so bad I wake up trembling. But silent. Because I can't let them know, let them know how bad it is. That I miss my family." I wrapped my arm around him and lay my head on his shoulder.

"I have those dreams sometimes. I wanna go home too." He didn't say it, but I knew what he was thinking. Ender and I were connected that way.

We stayed like that for hours, just sitting there silently. We didn't care if the older boys called us babies and brats. We didn't care that they looked and whispered about us and would tell Bonzo what they saw.

They didn't matter right now, nothing did. The only thing that mattered was that we missed Earth, missed our families, that we wanted to go home, but that we knew we had to be here. And so we'd do the best we could here, we would kill buggers and make our home safe, so that one day when we're old and can't fight anymore, we could go home and bake gross cakes with Valentine. So that we could keep Valentine safe.

But damn it, for just a few hours we were going to be sad homesick kids. We were gonna miss home and think about it in our memories. they owed us that much.