Gentry's Chance

Chapter 18. Why The Fuck Am I Telling Her This Shit?

Chance's POV

It's been three days since I've heard from Taytum. What I want to do and what I choose to do are two different things. I want to go to her and talk to her. I shouldn't have treated her the way that I did. I keep pushing her away, but I can't seem to help it. I've had plenty enough heartache the last couple of years, and I don't want more. If I'm being honest, my heart is already shattered. Taytum took what little was left of my heart. 

Taytum doesn't know that, of course, and I won't admit it to her. She has no idea how much she means to me, but it's in her best interest to stay away from me. Jay, Gavin, Matt, Alec, and I are sitting in my living room watching movies. I don't have Emma tonight. She's staying at a friend's place. 

"What are the girls doing? I'm bored," Gavin mutters.

"Having a sleepover," Jay yawns.

"Let's crash it!" Alec says excitedly.

"No! Chapin would kill me," Jayden laughs. 

"What do you think?" Matt asks me.

"I think I'm drunk and high. I'm going to sit here on my couch and pass out," I chuckle, rolling my head back. They all laugh and nod in agreement.

My phone dings I pull it from my pocket. 

"You guys want to play poker?" Jayden asks.

"I got a poker set in the hallway closet," I tell him. "I'm not, though. I'm so fucked up I'll lose all my money then the great folks of Tennessee would have no weed."

All the guys laugh and head out to the kitchen. I throw a blanket over me and yawn as I lie down on the couch. This couch sucks, but I'm too high to notice how uncomfortable it is. My phone dings again. I completely forgot to check my message from a few minutes ago. I grab it and look over the text. I squint when I see the name. "No fucking way," I mutter.

Taytum hasn't been in school the last couple of days. My guess is I'm the main reason. I was such a fucking asshole to her. I did not expect to hear from her again. I didn't even try to stop her when she jumped out of the car. 

Tay: You still mad at me?

I read it over and over again. She thinks I'm angry at her? That's stupid. I'm not mad at anyone but myself and my dad. Every part of me wants to give in to what I feel for her but I keep fighting it. I don't trust myself when I'm with her. It's like I lose control. I lose sight of everything, except her. When Taytum is in the room she is the only thing that means anything and that scares me.

Me: No. I was never angry at you.

Tay: Yes you were. You yelled at me.

Me: I was yelling in frustration. I'm sorry.

Tay: Frustration at me.

Me: I was frustrated with myself.

Tay: For?

Me: Fucking everything up. I didn't want to get attached to anyone and I've succeeded at that until I met you.

Tay: Do you miss me?

Me: Every second I'm away from you.

Why the fuck am I telling her this shit? I shouldn't be! Ugh! It's so wrong but it feels so good to be talking to her. Not to mention all the alcohol and pot I just consumed. She just had to text me while I wasn't sober. Sober has nothing to do with it moron you are a pushover! "Ugh," I groan. 

Tay: Really?

Me: Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's right, Tay. 

Tay: I don't care I want to see you. I can't stop thinking about you...

Me: Why you got to say shit like that? You don't know how bad it fucks me up.

Tay: Then come see me.

Me: I can't I'm drunk as fuck.

Tay: Me too. 

Me: Aren't you kind of busy at that sleeping party thing?

Tay: Lol sleepover? Not really. The girls are watching movies.

Me: Watch it with them.

Tay: Talking to you is more entertaining than a movie.

Me: Fine what do you want to talk about then?

Tay: What are you doing?

Me: Not much. The guys are here playing poker. I'm laying on the couch though.

Tay: Why aren't you playing poker?

Me: I'm too fucked up. I like to make money not lose it.

Tay: You know what I keep thinking about?

Me: What?

Tay: The night we were in your room. 

Me: What about it?

Tay: I wish we did more that night.

Is this leading to what I think it's leading to?

Me: Like what?

Tay: You know like the hotel room and that night you drove me home... maybe more than that.

Damn, I think I just got sober and hard all at once. Now it's suddenly all I can think about. Memories of Taytum fill my mind. 

Me: Fuck, I miss you.

Tay: Prove it. Come get me.

I don't think I've ever come flying off my couch so fast. I walk into the kitchen the guys look at me. "Fuck this, let's go see the girls," I said.

"Hell yeah!" Matt hoots.

"Let's scare the shit out of them," Alec smirks.

"This is a bad idea," Jayden pauses. "I love it."

We all head out to the front yard and climb into Jayden's Escalade. Jayden is probably the most sober of all of us. I don't text Taytum back. We drive through the dark empty town until we reach Chapin's house. The house is dark but there is some light on the second floor.

"They're so going to fucking kill us," Gavin chuckles as we sneak around the back of the house. 

"I'm going to assume you and Taytum made up," Jayden chuckles. 

"Get some!" Alec hisses under his breath. I chuckle as we sneak quietly through Chapin's back door. Jayden points to a door I open it up and sure enough, it's the basement. I head downstairs and find the breaker box.

"Lights out?" I arch a brow.

"Hell yeah," Matt smirks. I flip the breakers and the guys and I all chuckle when we hear the girls scream from upstairs.

"This is going to be fun," Gavin whispers as we all dart back up the stairs.